Larry Noodles & The Goat Face Off At Edge of the Hood

Friday afternoon I decided to go to the popular kosher vegetarian neighborhood restaurant / supermarket “Edge of the Woods.”  The locals call it “Edge of the Hood” because it is located in an area of town that is not the safest at night.  Edge of the Hood is located down the street from the compound.  The Goat and the Goat’s wife Sarah Greer shop there often.

I walked into the supermarket about 2 PM Friday afternoon.  I headed over to the restaurant area.  I had to go past the cashiers.  There is not much room to walk as there are abandoned shopping carriages and customers milling about.  At the same time the Goat had just finished purchasing a bag of groceries.  He also had a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

The Goat obviously was making a last minute trip to the supermarket before sundown which starts the Sabbath.  The Goat’s wife probably told the Goat to pick up a few items.  The bouquet of flowers was probably meant to impress the Goat’s wife.

The bouquet of flowers may have been meant to impress a teenage boy who is living at the compound.  If you are a teenage boy living at the compound don’t let the Goat seduce you with cheap flowers he purchased at the Edge of the Hood.

The Goat was focused on putting his items in his bag.  He was looking down at his bag and scurrying around as if he was in a rush to get home.  The Goat was chatting and smiling with the cashier.  I couldn’t turn around because there were people walking behind me.  As I walked forward the Goat picked up his bag and flowers and looked up.  The Goat found himself face to face with his nemesis and arch enemy Larry Noodles.

The Goat was still smiling when he looked me in the eyes.  The Goat did not look well.  His eyes were glazed over.  He was either on heavy duty anti depressants or had a few drinks of alcohol.  The Goat was hyper and nervous.  He was pale.  He stared right at me and didn’t say a word.  His jaw dropped, but he still managed to maintain a contorted smile. He looked as if he was going to hurl.

I was speechless.  I never planned for this day.  I never expected to find myself face to face with the Goat.  I examined the Goat as if I was engaged in a science project.  He is a very unhealthy Goat.  I was going to tell him I knew of a good veterinarian that he could consult with.  But it was too late.  The Goat was long gone.  He scurried away from me. I didn’t even have a chance to take his picture for my photo album.

I have observed the Goat’s wife at Edge of the Hood a number of times.  She does not look as sickly as the Goat.  She looks relaxed.  She chats with the store clerks and goes about her business.  I guess she doesn’t mind that her husband cheats on her with teenage boys.

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