Purim Eve at the Compound

Every year the Goat’s son Ezi would host a Purim Eve bash at his house, where he would get completely intoxicated with his Goat father.  This year the Goat had to make due without his children.  None of the Goat’s children appeared in New Haven to watch the Goat make a drunken fool of himself.  The Goat had to settle for a gaggle of drunken juvenile delinquents who live in the compound.  The Goat supplied these teenage boys with plenty of alcohol.  The Goat was hoping that a teenager would get intoxicated to the point where he wouldn’t know the difference between a Playboy bunny and a hideous Goat.

The Goat moved his annual Purim Eve party from Ezi’s house to the house that used to be occupied by the Goat’s first born son Dov.  Many people came to this party.  I believe tv and movie actor Bruce Altman and Darcy Quick Draw McGraw made a red carpet appearance.  The Goat’s friend Gary Lynes was probably there.  Gary was probably packing a pistol to guard the Goat from Larry Noodles.  A local mad scientist was there to study dark matter, ie., the Goat’s brain.

There was a guard on duty at the Purim party the Goat had at Dov’s house.  This young man was dressed in all black, with a ski mask covering his face.  I guess he didn’t want to get filmed by Larry Noodles.  On the front of his shirt was “FBI.”  He clearly wasn’t an FBI agent.  He was impersonating an FBI agent in order to scare off Larry Noodles.  I spent 18 months in Federal prison, I know the difference between a real FBI agent and some joker with a cop costume.  This imposter should read the United States Code, Title 18, Section 912, which states:  “Whoever falsely assumes or pretends to be an officer or employee acting under the authority of the United States or any department, agency or officer thereof, and acts as such, or in such pretended character demands or obtains any money, paper, document, or thing of value, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than three years, or both.”

The Goat should read Sec. 30-89a of the Connecticut Criminal Code:  “No person having possession of, or exercising dominion and control over, any dwelling unit or private property shall (1) knowingly, recklessly or with criminal negligence permit any minor to possess alcoholic liquor in violation of subsection (b) of section 30-89 in such dwelling unit or on such private property, or (2) knowing that any minor possesses alcoholic liquor in violation of subsection (b) of section 30-89 in such dwelling unit or on such private property, fail to make reasonable efforts to halt such possession. For the purposes of this subsection, “minor” means a person under twenty-one years of age.”

My sources provided me with some live footage of the Goat party, which I am honored to share with my readers:

 

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