A few new guys checked into Otisville prison today. Everyone calls the new guys “FNG’s” or “Effing new guys.”
One guy was from Connecticut, or “The ‘Cut.” Gabe, a mortgage fraud attorney was from Hartford, arrived with a guy named Sullivan, or Sully, from Long Island.
My co-defendant, the Greek, knew all about mortgage fraud attorney Gabe. The Greek said that Gabe got a year and a day, which means he is a “RAT.” Gabe must have ratted out other guys to get such a short sentence. The Greek was also mad that Gabe only got a year and a day while the Greek got five years for doing the same thing. But the Greek went to trial and didn’t rat anyone out.
The Greek said he knew the guys Gabe ratted out. He said they were Greek brothers who were real estate investors. The Greek said that one of the brothers tried to escape the country by hiding in a storage container on a ship headed for Greece. He said the guy got caught and got a 13 year sentence.
Sully was an investment banker from Long Island. He was impressed with billionaire inmate Walter Forbes. He said Forbes wrote the finance books that he studied in business school. He was also impressed with inmate Biotech Blech, a guy who started the biotech industry in the 1980s. Sully has a lot of time to spend with these guys, as Sully got a five year sentence. Forbes got ten years.
Another inmate showed up from California. Its rare to get an inmate from the West Coast. This guy said that he had a legal marijuana farm in California. He said his partner started selling his pot in New York, which is illegal. This new guy only got a 13 month sentence. He said he was completely innocent, even though the Feds caught him with 300 pounds of marijuana.
The pot farmer was a quiet guy, but he talked in his sleep. If I was up in the middle of the night I would hear him yelling out all kinds of crazy things while he was sound asleep.
These two new guys sat in the blueboy office going over paperwork with an officer. They were still adjusting to the initial shock of prison. Spanish inmate Ralphie poked his head into the office and shouted out to the officer, “Hey Officer, I just got an email from Ed, remember the inmate who got gang raped in here last week, he is doing a lot better!”
The blueboyz are getting worked up about a rape prevention inspection by government auditors. Signs are going up all over the facility notifying inmates of the “PRISON RAPE PROTECTION COMPLIANCE ACT.” The Federal government is notifying inmates that it is a crime to rape another inmate. If this occurs it should be reported to the blueboyz.
The blueboyz also instituted new policies in the prison to prevent prison rape. The Warden ordered all inmates who work in “grounds” or landscaping, to cut down all overgrown weeds and grass. Someone could get dragged into the high grass and get raped. In the warehouse the Warden ordered the blueboyz to lock all bathroom doors. A blueboy must unlock the bathroom for the inmate if he had to use the bathroom. The Warden did not want inmates going into the bathroom together and locking themselves in. The Warden’s goal was to create a rape free environment.
I never got to see any inmates rape each other while I was locked up in Otisville for 18 months. Nor was I ever raped. I guess I missed out on the authentic American prison experience.
The blueboyz never got around to locking all the bathroom doors. There was no way that the blueboyz were going to open and close the bathroom door every time an inmate wanted to take a piss.
During the rape inspection audit the head blueboy got mad at us and locked down the prison camp for a few hours. A lock down is when you are confined to your cubicle and can’t go anywhere. Guys were climbing the walls. Every guy has a daily routine in prison. It’s the only way to survive. When you lock the guys down you take them away from their routines, whether it is going to the gym, the library or whatever you do at that particular time.
The head blueboy locked us down because someone took down the “PRISON RAPE PROTECTION COMPLIANCE ACT” sign. He said we weren’t going to be allowed out of our cubicles until this joker returned the sign. After a few hours the head blueboy realized that a different blueboy took down the sign, under some order from some other blueboy. Just another typical day in Otisville Federal Correctional Instution.