Four Hasidim from the Monsey area, ie., Zishe Abraham, Heshl Abraham, Yoel Abraham and Shmuel Abraham figured out a way to steal $19 million from Jeff Bezos without Bezos even knowing it. It took 3 years before Amazon and the Feds caught up with the Abraham crime family. Many religious Jews make money off of Amazon the old fashioned way, they buy and sell electronic junk manufactured in China. The Abrahams wanted to get rich fast. They couldn’t wait to spend their ill begotten gains at the Otisville prison commissary.
The Abrahams set up multiple vendor accounts with Amazon. When Amazon ordered 1 case of Lysol at $94 a canister the Abrahams manipulated the purchase order to cause Amazon to order 7,000 toothbrushes at $94 a toothbrush. Its not clear from the legal documents whether the Abrahams actually shipped 7,000 toothbrushes. What is clear is that Amazon wired $650K into the Abraham account. The Abraham brothers set up a perfume vendor account. Amazon ordered one high end bottle of perfume for $289.00. The Abrahams changed the order to 927 beard trimmers and charged Amazon $268K, which Amazon paid in full.
Is Amazon that stupid? Are the Abrahams this smart? Yes, Amazon is stupid. No, the Abrahams are not smart. The Abrahams documented their Amazon crime spree on an Abraham family group chat. The Feds didn’t have to lift a finger to bust these idiots. The Abrahams made the following comments on their group chat: “I’m so in the mood to F Amazon, did anyone try to overship and make a million dollar profit in a week?” “Didn’t tried this yet but tried already different things and it worked, just make sure you have another account.” “You can F them a lot, when its to big numbers fast they will lock you out.” “This shit is massed up, looks like will have to build a legit business.” “The problem the first accounts was under real names.”
The Abraham brothers obviously don’t know how to spell and know nothing about basic English grammar. The Abrahams frequently used curse words in their text messages. The Abrahams clearly graduated at the top of their class in yeshiva. The Abrahams will have to join my Otisville chat group after they graduate from Otisville Federal prison. If they need help adjusting to prison life they can hire me as their “prison consultant.” Now is not a good time to be locked up in Otisville. They should drag their cases out until the wrath of Hashem has subsided.
The Abrahams may have graduated top in their class in yeshiva but they clearly failed post graduate yeshiva studies in criminality. Every criminal knows to hide his ill begotten gains from the government. 30 year old Zishe Abraham, of Williamsburg, just purchased his family a house in Spring Valley on East Willow Tree Road for $638K. 28 year old Yoel Abraham just paid $900K for his starter home on Golf Course Road in Montebello. 24 year old Shmuel Abraham just purchased his $967K starter house on Biret Drive in Montebello. I couldn’t find any big purchases made by 32 year old Heshl Abraham, the oldest and wisest of the brothers. Heshl told his brothers not to make any big purchases which would attract attention. Heshl was a big fan of Robert DeNiro in Goodfellas.
The Feds filed forfeiture petitions against the Abraham gang of thieves. I don’t know what the Abrahams did with the rest of the $19 million that they stole from Jeff Bezos. If they were smart they would have laundered it at a local shul. I was locked up with many rabbis who specialized in money laundering. They should have contacted me before they went on their crime spree, I would have made a few referrals.
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Although one is permitted to agitate a wicked person while the wicked person is alive, once the wicked person is dead one should offer the dead person a respectable burial.
Rav Ula said, “if you did something evil, making you a little wicked, you should not do more evil and become very wicked, just as one who got bad breath from eating garlic should not then continue to eat garlic and make his breath worse.” Shabbos 31
Rav Abele, the dayan of Vilna, said “The Sages tell us that most people are guilty of theft and everyone is guilty of loshon hora”
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