Dean Skelos Breaks Out of Otisville

Dean Skelos Breaks Out of Otisville

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72 year old inmate Dean Skelos caught the coronavirus in Otisville prison. A few weeks ago Dean filed a motion for compassionate release. Dean suffers from coronavirus, hypercholesterolemia, prediabetes mellitus, low testosterone levels, depression, anxiety and insomnia. Dean’s list of medication includes escitalopram, alprazolam, Ambien, and Vytorin. Federal prosecutors told Judge Kimba Wood that Dean was cleared to go home to home confinement by the Office of Adult Probation. A few days later Federal prosecutors filed a letter with Judge Wood stating that the Bureau of Prisons did not approve of Dean’s release. The BOP never told Federal prosecutors that the Bureau of Prisons had changed its policy from releasing inmates who did 25% of their time to releasing inmates who did 50% of their time.

A few weeks ago the Warden at Otisville told inmates that if they served 25% of their sentence they would be released to home confinement, right after they were quarantined in Otisville for 14 days. Guys in Otisville were very happy. Ecstatic! Homecoming parties, with proper social distancing, and noodle kugel, were planned all over the tri-State region. A few days later the BOP reversed its policy and told inmates that they had to serve 50% of their jail sentence before they could be released to home confinement. Ecstasy quickly turned to suicidal thoughts. The BOP doesn’t care if inmates kill themselves. The BOP played a dirty trick on inmates. Sadistic mind games. I was locked up for almost two years. I know the mentality of the guards. I also know the mentality of inmates. Inmates are not any less sadistic than the guards. American prison is a social experiment gone awry.

Dean is now a semi free man living at home during a pandemic. Dean is free to commit more crimes. Federal prosecutors informed Judge Wood yesterday that the BOP just released Dean on furlough until April 30th, at which time Dean will be on home confinement. Federal Prosecutors asked that Dean’s motion for compassionate release be denied because it is now moot. Three US Attorneys were listed on the letter submitted to Judge Wood, ie., Attorney Edward Diskant, Attorney Thomas McKay and Attorney Douglas Kolkind. It took no less than three Ivy League lawyers to prepare a two paragraph letter! McKay graduated from Princeton, Zolkind graduated from Cornell and Diskant graduated from Yale. New York Judge Sidney Stein recently officiated at the wedding of US Attorney Edward Diskant, a lawman, and Mr. Conor Dundurs Daly, a layman. For those who accuse me of being homophobic nothing can be further from the truth. Some of my best friends, and worst enemies are homosexuals. I merely mentioned the wedding of Diskant and Daly because I am hopeful that US Attorney Diskant will understand the suffering of inmates, a persecuted class, no less persecuted than homosexuals, lesbians, bisexuals, transexuals, and nymphomaniacs. There are hate crime laws, and many other laws, that protect the lives and safety of homosexuals. Are there any hate crime laws that protect the lives and safety of inmates who get threatened, physically attacked and abused every day by guards and other inmates? Nothing! Gornisht, as they say in Otisville. #InmatesLivesMatter!

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The opinions expressed in this blog are solely the opinions of Larry Noodles. These opinions do not necessarily reflect the opinions or views of Lawrence Dressler, Donald Trump, Anthony Fauci or Joey Buttafuoco. If you have been offended by anything that has been written in this blog, you need to file a formal complaint with Hashem. Moshiach Now!

Rav Elyashiv rules that if a wicked man, or wicked goat, dies on Shabbos and his corpse is lying in the sun in shame, one should move the corpse by placing a child or loaf of bread on the corpse. Although one is permitted to agitate a wicked person while the wicked person is alive, now that the wicked person is dead and his nefarious activities have ceased, one should offer the wicked dead person a respectable burial. Larry Noodles is very machmir in the mitzvah of agitating a living wicked person or a wicked goat, as the case may be.

Rav Ula once said, “if you did something evil, making you a little wicked, you should not do more evil and become very wicked, just as one who got bad breath from eating garlic should not then continue to eat garlic and make his breath worse.” Shabbos 31

Rav Abele, the famous dayan of Vilna, as a seven-year-old, was once ill and in bed. The doctor saw that his mouth was full of blisters. Turning to the boy’s parents, the doctor explained that if the tongue isn’t clean, it’s a sure sign of a malfunctioning stomach. “Is there anyone who can truly say his mouth is clean?” retorted the sick child. “Chazal tell us in the gemara Bava Basra that most people are guilty of theft and everyone of loshon hora!

“The hand of G-d lay heavy upon the he-goats, the crooks, the politicians, and the infidels, and He wrought havoc among them: He struck them with hemorrhoids.” I Samuel 5-6

“If the Kohen gadol sins, bringing guilt to the people, then he shall bring for his sin which he has committed, an unblemished young bull as a sin offering to the Lord.” Leviticus 4:3. “If your Rabbi sins and tells you to daven outside 770 waving a yellow flag during a pandemic, then you shall barbecue a rib eye steak and bring it to Larry Noodles as a sin offering.” Noodles 4:13.

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