Dr. Eike Blohm, 38 years old, was an up and coming doctor with a promising career in medicine. Dr. Blohm was born in Germany and moved to America in 2003 and graduated from the very prestigious John Hopkins Medical School. Dr. Blohm is a German national with dual citizenship. Dr. Blohm is a Kraut. Blohm is not a Jewish doctor. Blohm is a sick Gentile doctor. Very sick. Blohm’s grandfather may have been a Nazi who killed Jews, or a German who hid Jews during the war. I am having Noodles affiliates in Germany conducting the research as I type. My policy is not to stereotype anyone unless I know the full facts.
Dr. Blohm was busted two weeks ago. Blohm was in charge of the emergency room at the University of Vermont Medical Center. Dr. Blohm was also a college professor and taught biology to undergraduates at the University of Vermont. Blohm hooked up with a young undergrad and married her. Since his arrest Blohm’s young trophy wife has abandoned him. She is looking to file for a divorce.
Dr. Blohm secretly installed recording devices and nanny cams in 2 ER bathrooms used by employees of the University of Vermont Medical Center. Blohm hid these electronic eavesdropping devices in air fresheners. When the Vermont cops looked at his SD cards they found 900 uncompromising videos, and sounds, of hospital employees relieving themselves in the bathroom stalls. The local cops got a search warrant and searched Blohm’s residence and found 21 videos of kiddie porn along with pics of naked kids on his ipad. The Vermont Department of Children and Family Services opened an investigation, as Dr. Blohm’s young trophy wife has a child from a previous relationship. Blohm’s wife and her child skipped town but didn’t file any charges against Blohm. Vermont’s Social Service Agency ordered Blohm to vacate the home he shared with his wife. The University of Vermont fired Blohm.
The Vermont State cops turned over their investigation to the Feds at the Department of Justice. Federal child pornography charges carry ten year minimum sentences. State voyeurism charges would have only exposed Blohm to less than five years. Blohm is currently sitting in a dreary jail cell in county prison in St. Albans, Vermont, along the Canadian border. Dr. Blohm’s attorney Lisa Shelkrot filed a motion for Blohm to stay out of prison pending trial or pending a plea deal and sentencing. Federal prosecutors objected to Blohm’s request. The Feds argued that Blohm was a flight risk because he had German passports and dual citizenship. Attorney Shelkrot argued that Blohm just purchased a $12,000.00 camper and intended to live in his camper in Vermont, in a Walmart parking lot, during his legal proceedings. Just kidding about the Walmart parking lot. Attorney Shelkrot argued that Blohm got himself into “counseling,” turned in his German passports, and could not leave the country in any event due to the extreme coronavirus travel restrictions.
Attorney Shelkrot is a prominent criminal defense attorney practicing out of Burlington VT. Attorney Shelkrot graduated from Yale University and Harvard Law School. Shel-Kraut, “of the Kraut” in Hebrew, specializes in representing prominent dual citizen German national criminals who live in Vermont. Shelkraut should have told Dr. Blohm to splurge for a mobile home with a real bathroom. A $12K camper? Give me a break!
Federal Magistrate Judge John M. Conroy, a graduate of New England School of Law and a former US Attorney, was not impressed with Shelkraut’s arguments or her prestigious Ivy League credentials. Motion to release Blohm to camper confinement DENIED.
Dr. Blohm’s fellow inmates in St. Albans prison in upstate Vermont were very happy when Dr. Blohm checked in. They finally have a real doctor who can treat them in county. The State of Vermont, and the Federal Bureau of Prisons, do not believe in modern medicine for lowly inmates. I cut my finger in the prison warehouse where I worked. I asked the correctional officer if he could supply me with a band-aid as I was bleeding all over the place. He told me that I could order band-aids on the commissary, which would have taken a week or so to arrive. I ended up wrapping up my bloody finger with toilet paper and masking tape. Oy Gevalt!
If you want to rent an Airbnb camper from Dr. Blohm in scenic Vermont it costs $50 a night. Send your checks to Attorney Shelkraut. Blohm still owes Shelkraut money for attorneys fees.
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Whoever has the ability to protest against the sins committed by people in his city, but does not, he is punished for the sins of the people of his city, unless he lives in the City of Williamsburg. Shabbos 55.
Rav Elyashiv rules that if a wicked man, or wicked goat, dies on Shabbos and his corpse is lying in the sun in shame, one should move the corpse by placing a child or loaf of bread on the corpse. Although one is permitted to agitate a wicked person while the wicked person is alive, now that the wicked person is dead and his nefarious activities have ceased, one should offer the wicked dead person a respectable burial. Larry Noodles is very machmir in the mitzvah of agitating a living wicked person or a wicked goat, as the case may be.
Rav Ula once said, “if you did something evil, making you a little wicked, you should not do more evil and become very wicked, just as one who got bad breath from eating garlic should not then continue to eat garlic and make his breath worse.” Shabbos 31
Rav Abele, the famous dayan of Vilna, as a seven-year-old, was once ill and in bed. The doctor saw that his mouth was full of blisters. Turning to the boy’s parents, the doctor explained that if the tongue isn’t clean, it’s a sure sign of a malfunctioning stomach. “Is there anyone who can truly say his mouth is clean?” retorted the sick child. “Chazal tell us in the gemara Bava Basra that most people are guilty of theft and everyone of loshon hora!“
“The hand of G-d lay heavy upon the he-goats, the crooks, the politicians, and the infidels, and He wrought havoc among them: He struck them with hemorrhoids.” I Samuel 5-6
“If the Kohen gadol sins, bringing guilt to the people, then he shall bring for his sin which he has committed, an unblemished young bull as a sin offering to the Lord.” Leviticus 4:3. “If your Rabbi sins and tells you to daven outside 770 waving a yellow flag during a pandemic, then you shall barbecue a rib eye steak and bring it to Larry Noodles as a sin offering.” Noodles 4:13.
“It is better to be cursed by the Prophet Achiya ha’Shiloni, and repeatedly cursed out by Larry Noodles, than to be blessed by Bil’am.” Taanit 20.
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