My spies in Rhode Island have informed me that Daniel Greer the Depraved Rabbi Goat was recently served with legal papers by the Touro Synagogue in Newport, Rhode Island. The paperwork notified the Goat that he will be subject to arrest and incarceration if any of his goat hooves step into the historical Touro Synagogue.
The Touro Synagogue had previously mailed letters to the Goat informing him that the Board voted to ban him from the building. After the Goat received these letters, the Goat hired attorneys and sent letters back to the Board objecting to this insult. The Goat had to hire Rhode Island lawyers for this job, he couldn’t use his usual list of lawyer lackies he has on retainer in Connecticut. The Goat’s Rhode Island lacky lawyers were unsuccessful in convincing the Board to let the Goat in.
The Touro synagogue tried to meet the Goat half way. Touro was willing to build a Goat stable in the back of the building if the Goat wanted to pray. The Goat, true to his stubborn goat nature, refused to pray in a goat stable. The Goat is an important rabbi. In New Haven the Goat prayed in the front of the shul and faced the congregants, keeping an eye on everyone, especially the teenage boys enrolled in the Goat school. The Goat had his henchmen spread across the shul, Ezi Greer guarded the north wall, Dov Greer and Avi Hack guarded the back wall, and Harold Hack sat to the Goat’s immediate left guarding the south wall. The teenage boys, ie., the bochurim, were located in the middle of the shul right in front of the Goat. The local saps from New Haven, myself included, formed a ring around the bochurim.
I spent 18 months in the famous Otisville Jewish Federal prison. I prayed in a prison shul where services were frequently interrupted by prison guards, ie., the boys in blue, who intimidated the inmates, just for the fun of it. The prison shul was controlled by Jews with long sentences, who also intimidated other inmates. I still remember getting yelled at in the middle of davening by the head blue boy in charge of the prison. Officer Scalboni screamed that I had to report to him right after services ended. What did I do wrong? Did Scalboni find a stolen tomato in my bunk? Did someone plant drugs in my bed? Was I going to be thrown in the SHU, ie., the hole? I couldn’t focus on prayers. The other inmates stared at me. My enemies were happy that I might be going to the SHU. It didn’t matter, everyone in jail gets in trouble sooner or later, there is no way to avoid it, prison rules are traps for the unwary, and your mental sanity eventually reaches a breaking point.
At least with the prison shul you knew who you were dealing with. Everyone knew each other’s RAP sheet, and RAT sheet. There was no hiding who you were in jail. Everyone knew what crimes you committed on the outside of prison, and what crimes you were currently committing on the inside of prison. Some guys were committing crimes on the inside and the outside at the same time. These guys were good at multi tasking.
In the Goat shul you knew something was wrong, but you couldn’t put your finger on it. You knew that the Goat and his family were criminals, but you had no idea what kind of crimes they were committing. Fraud with the non-profit buildings? Paying off politicians? Real estate scams? Drug and alcohol abuse? Physical and sexual abuse of children? Tax fraud? Medicaid fraud?
The Goat boys were on the Goat payroll off the books, they all qualified for Medicaid even though the Goat is a millionaire. The Goat cheated on his taxes by not paying employment taxes on his boys, just like tax cheat Goat Copy, which just got busted for not paying taxes on $1.5 million of income. The Goat’s former lawyer and business partner William Gallagher stole almost two million bucks from his clients. The Goat’s other business partner and lawyer, Yale law professor Ed Zelinsky is getting sued for stealing a million bucks from an estate. Goats of a feather flock together.
The Goat managed to keep his many scams a secret for the last forty years. Not anymore. The Goat is finally exposed for the depraved madman that he is. Dov Greer, Avi Hack, Ezi Greer and Harold Hack have been exposed as the assistant madmen who covered up the Goat’s crimes for the last thirty years.
Speaking of Harold Hack, I ran into him at an out of town synagogue recently. I was there for afternoon prayers. I hadn’t been in this large synagogue in years. I took a random seat. I recognized a few people. Services started. In the middle of the repetition of the amida Harold Hack walked in. I didn’t see Harold. Harold didn’t see me. I was wearing a baseball hat so Harold didn’t recognize me. Harold took a place right next to me. I didn’t see him until I stood up and turned to my left. I was face to face with Harold Hack. What are the odds of that happening? Harold didn’t look very happy to see me. He didn’t even say hello. He looked angry. His face was red. His eyes bulged out of his head. He marched to the back of the synagogue without even saying goodbye.
I felt bad for Harold Hack when I saw him in shul. He looked like a nobody in this big shul. He used to be an important man in New Haven working as the Goat’s right hand man. Harold also had a big job with the City of New Haven, a job he owed to the Goat’s political connections. Harold would have been a nobody with no money without the Goat. Harold’s son Avi was the Goat’s mistress. The Hack family was treated like royalty in the compound, except for the Hack women, who were treated like slaves. They were always in the kitchen in aprons cooking for the compound. The Goat and his ilk had no use for women.
Harold got very angry when he had to move to the back of the shul. I didn’t force him to move. He could have sat next to me. I could hear him in the back ranting: “Today, everything is different; there’s no action. I have to wait around like everyone else. Can’t even get decent food. Right after I got here, I ordered some spaghetti with marinara sauce, and I got egg noodles and ketchup. I’m an average nobody. Get to live the rest of my life like a schnook.”