Louis Goldberg, AKA Uncle Lou Goatberg, was born in Baltimore and moved to New Haven in 1974. Uncle Lou graduated from St. John’s University, which is where Lou learned how to sing Christmas carols. Lou went into business with his in-laws, who owned a dumpy motel on Route 1 in Milford, which still exists today, ie., The Shoreline Motel. The Shoreline is just as sleezy as the Branford Motel, the dump where Rabbi Goat took victims Avi Hack and Eli Mirlis for evenings of porn videos and sodomization. The Goat wore a baseball cap and used the name “Mr. Green” to check in at the Branford Motel.
After a couple of years in the motel business, Uncle Lou sold the Shoreline Motel and purchased Good Copy Printing, AKA Goatcopy, which he ran for the last 35 years, where he and his nephew Ira raked in a few hundred thousand dollars a year in salary over the last ten years. Life was good at Good Copy. At least until those annoying Feds starting poking around. The gold sealed framed certificate of recognition / appreciation that Rabbi Goat is holding in his paws, above, was printed by Goat Copy Printing. A local Yale grad recently told me that he spotted the Goat coming out of Tyco Printing in downtown New Haven. The Goat obviously has ditched Goatcopy for Tyco. The local Yalie let down Larry Noodles. He failed to snap a pic of the Goat.
Uncle Lou knew Rabbi Daniel Greer AKA “Rabbi Goat” for 30 years. Uncle Lou secured a lot of business from Rabbi Goat over the years. He continued to do business with Rabbi Goat even after the Goat barricaded himself in the compound and frequently attacked members of the New Haven Jewish community, who were friends with Goatberg. I still remember when the Goat physically attacked New Haven reporter Paul Bass and pushed him down the front steps of the Goat shul. Uncle Lou continued to attend the Goat’s “religious” services even after the Goat’s own family, other than the Ewe, fled the compound. It was only after I exposed Uncle Lou’s love for the Goat in this blog did Goatberg decide it was time to seek a divorce from the Goat.
The Feds just submitted a sentencing memo to Federal Judge Janet Hall for Uncle Lou’s sentencing, which is scheduled for this Thursday. The Feds stated that Uncle Lou’s sentencing guidelines recommend 10-16 months incarceration, but the Feds would not recommend 10-16 months. The Feds told Judge Hall that they appreciated Lou’s substantial assistance in helping the Feds get a conviction of Lou’s nephew Ira Malkin. The Feds submitted a “5K letter” which basically means that Lou was a snitch, a rat, a man who can’t be trusted in a criminal conspiracy. Uncle Lou will never get a job offer to work in a criminal conspiracy again. If Uncle Lou were in the mafia he would be wearing galoshes at the bottom of the New Haven harbor and swimming with the fishes.
It’s not as if the Feds really needed Uncle Lou’s cooperation to get nephew Ira convicted on tax fraud. It would have been easy for the Feds to get a conviction in Federal court. Ira didn’t have a chance. How was Ira going to explain ten years of false tax returns and hundreds of thousands of dollars of tax free bucks flowing into his accounts? Goatberg didn’t have a defense either. How was Uncle Lou going to explain paying Ira’s personal expenses for ten years and not filing the proper tax forms after he was repeatedly told by his bookkeeper that what he was doing wasn’t kosher.
The Feds use of guys to rat each other out in cases like this, where it is completely unnecessary, makes no sense. Its not as if the Feds are trying to convict a violent mob boss or drug dealer. These guys are small potato latkes. But the Feds want to spend as little resources as possible. A rat motivates other defendants to quickly plead guilty. The Feds could have just as easily reversed the roles and had nephew Ira snitch out Uncle Lou.
Whats the point in putting these guys in jail for tax fraud anyway? Hundreds of thousands of false tax returns are filed every year with the government losing billions. The Feds should use better technology to create a system for collecting taxes instead of wasting time on a handful of criminal prosecutions. The Feds should hire the Jewish Mathematician from the compound to create an algorithm to collect taxes. This Harvard undergrad / Yale PhD Mathematician not only knows how to add numbers but if you listen to his latest podcast on the history of the State of Connecticut you will hear this Math nerd expound upon the authoritarian nature of Connecticut’s government, politicians, power, crime, wealth, greed, tyranny, corruption and the ruling class. If the Jewish Mathematician had a criminal mind he would be dangerous.
The Feds stated in it’s sentencing memo that Uncle Lou already paid back over $100K in fines, penalties and interest to the Department of the Treasury. At Ira’s sentencing the Feds wanted 2 years in jail, but Judge Hall only gave him 6 months. In Uncle Lou’s case the Feds didn’t indicate how much jail time they wanted for Goatberg. The Feds stated that they would let Judge Hall decide whether Lou should get jail time, and how much jail time. It sounds like the Feds didn’t want to suggest a period of time that would be ignored by the Judge, and make the Department of Justice look bad. The DOJ gets enough bad publicity as it is, especially from felon bloggers.
Rabbi Goat had a habit of surrounding himself with criminals and reprobates. Attorney William Gallagher, who was a board member on many of the Goat’s non-profits, died leaving a $2 million hole in his client’s trust account. Former Goat business partner Ed Zelinsky is being sued for $1 million. He is accused of misappropriating a million bucks from a trust account. Ed’s wife, Mrs. Doris Spite Fence Zelinsky, purposely vandalized her own property in Cape Cod because she got shot down by the local zoning commission. See LINK.
The Feds made a point to mention that Uncle Lou submitted 40 false tax forms over a period of ten years. The Feds downplayed Uncle Lou’s good works and stated: “The government does not take issue with the defendant’s good works, but does note that the defendant’s altruistic efforts, however honorable, do not make the defendant’s case different from a typical white collar defendant with the background and means to assist his community. Nor does the background explain or excuse the defendant’s decision year after year, quarter after quarter, to falsify Goodcopy filings with the IRS.”
The Feds made some bizarre statements about Uncle Lou’s relationship with his nephew Ira: “It is not anticipated that Louis Goldberg was or would be subject to threats or harm as a result of his cooperation. In fact, the government believes that his assistance and the resulting resolution of the case might have taken a small step in speeding up healing family rifts that may have been occasioned by a drawn-out criminal investigation and prosecution.” In other words, the Feds are saying that Lou will not face any risk of physical harm from nephew Ira, who weighs about 300 pounds more than Uncle Lou. How did this Federal prosecution heal Goldberg “family rifts?” Uncle Lou and nephew Ira are now on good terms, thanks to the Department of Justice. Prosecutors believe in family unity, even when they ship someone off to jail hundreds of miles away from home for many years at a time and limit inmate phone calls to two minutes a day. The healed Goldberg “family rift” is more the result of Judge Hall sentencing Ira to only 6 months while Lou may not get any time at all.
The Feds may be discussing Goldberg “family rifts” in response to Lou’s attorney Hugh Keefe’s argument that Lou was “bullied” into committing tax fraud by his nephew Ira Malkin. Hugh Keefe is the best licensed attorney in New Haven and has been recommended many times in this blog. Larry Noodles would be in the running for best attorney but he is unlicensed at this time due to the Federal mortgage fraud prosecutions that resulted in hundreds of closing attorneys getting locked up throughout the country. The bankers got suntans in the Hamptons while Larry Noodles stared at deer for 18 months from a dilapidated Federally owned trailer park located in Upstate New York in Otisville. By default Hugh Keefe gets the top ranking.
Avi Hack hired Hugh Keefe’s law firm to appeal the Federal court order ordering the release of Avi’s videotape deposition to Larry Noodles. That appeal is still pending. It will be argued before the Second Circuit Court of Appeals sometime next year. Amy Yamaguchi hired Hugh Keefe’s firm to sue Rabbi Goat’s son Ezi for a fire that forced Amy to jump out of Ezi’s apartment building. That case is still pending.
In the end the Feds left the fate of Uncle Lou to Judge Hall and stated: “The government is not recommending a specific sentence – it is neither requesting probation nor a period of incarceration – instead it is outlining the cooperation and leaving it to the Court to determine the appropriate sentence which may or may not include period of incarceration.” Judge Hall will get to review a lot of information, and recommendations, prepared by a Federal employee probation officer who works at the Office of Adult Probation, all of which is sealed to the public. My probation officer, a guy named Lopez, who has since left the Probation Office, used to call up ex-wives of defendants and ask them if their former husbands ever cheated on them. It happened in my case and in the case of another guy I was locked up with. This line of questioning is totally inappropriate, and probably violates Justice Department rules. If your probation officer, prosecutor, or defense lawyer engages in acts that appear to be illegal, unsavory, unreasonable, outrageous, or just plain stupid, you are probably getting screwed. You need to contact jailhouse lawyer Larry Noodles immediately!
Judge Hall may give Uncle Lou a couple of months in jail just to show to the public that Federal investigations are no joke. The incarceration rate for Federal prosecutions is about 95%. The Feds rarely bring prosecutions for misdemeanors. Every now and then a defendant gets a lucky break and completely avoids jail in a Federal prosecution. If the Feds don’t want you to go to jail they won’t indict you in the first place. In my criminal case numerous co-conspirators were never indicted even though they were more involved than guys who were indicted.
The Department of Justice has to justify its existence. The DOJ brings a fraction of cases that are brought by State law enforcement agencies. The DOJ’s duplicative drug prosecutions don’t put any more of a dent in the drug trade than State drug prosecutions. The DOJ incarcerates about 200,000 people, mostly men and mostly minorities, while the States incarcerate about 2 million people. The Feds like to bring prosecutions against politicians, which hasn’t done anything to clean up politics.
If you want to read the entire sentencing memo submitted by the Feds on the Goatberg case click this LINK
If you want to read the entire sentencing memo submitted by Attorney Hugh Keefe on behalf of Lou Goatberg case click this LINK
If you want to read the FBI notes of the raid on Goatcopy Printing, click this LINK.
If you need a “Get Out of Jail Free Card” please contact former Connecticut United States Attorney Harold James Pickerstein, who only got 30 days in the slammer after robbing his client of $600K.