Greer Decertified as Kosher Food Inspector

Greer Decertified as Kosher Food Inspector


(July 27, 2016)  Two days ago Larry Noodles posted a blog about a kosher food scam that Rabbi Greer was trying to pull off at the Stop & Shop Supermarket located on Whalley Avenue, in the hood of New Haven. Rabbi Greer’s kosher certification sign was seen hanging on the wall of the Stop & Shop bakery certifying that all the baked food was kosher.  The sign listed five members of the Greer gang who presumably conducted periodic inspections of the bakery to make sure the food was kosher.

Today Larry Noodles made a follow up visit to the Stop & Shop Supermarket and discovered a new kosher sign hanging on the wall at the Stop & Shop bakery.  The new sign lists a new kosher organization, the Vaad HaKashrus of Fairfield County, that has certified the Stop & Shop bakery as kosher.  This new sign lists the name of only one rabbi, a man by the name of Rabbi Fred Hyman, as the “Nosi” or “Chief” in charge of kosher supervision. Rabbi Greer listed himself as the “Nosi” in his kosher sign, even though Greer and his gang didn’t perform any kosher supervision whatsoever.

Larry Noodles is not sure how the solo Rabbi Hyman will be able to handle a job that took five members of the Greer gang to perform.  But the Greer gang was not doing anything, and were never in the Stop & Shop in the hood.  Rabbi Greer barricaded himself deep inside the Greer compound at 782 Elm Street, also known as “the Nightmare on Elm Street”   Greer’s number one son fled to his in-laws in New Jersey. The other Son of a Greer moved into a tent he set up in Mayor Toni Harp’s office.  Greer rape victim Rabbi Avi Hack packed up and moved to his in-laws in Rhode Island.  Rabbi Auerbach lives in Lakewood, NJ and has never  been seen in New Haven.  Rabbi Fred Hyman is not one to pull such shennanigans.

Rabbi Hyman is a well respected Rabbi living in New Haven who leads a synagogue in Westville.  You will not find Rabbi Hyman barricading himself in the basement at the Westville shul.  You won’t find Rabbi Hyman hiding out in New Jersey at his in-laws’ apartment, sleeping on the couch.  You won’t find Rabbi Hyman hanging out in Mayor Toni Harp’s office in his pup tent wheeling and dealing and looking for favors.  Larry Noodles is confident that Stop & Shop is on the right path with Rabbi Hyman, yet Larry Noodles still has one concern…

Although the new kosher sign went up, the old Greer kosher sign still remains, and the food is still packaged with Greer labels.  Larry Noodles has consulted with New Haven’s own Rabbi Noodles, the twin brother of Larry Noodles.  Rabbi Noodles has issued the following ruling:  “The baked food at Stop & Shop may be eaten under the following conditions:  The Greer labels must be completely removed and placed in an acid bath. After all traces of the Greer gang are removed from the packaging one must file a formal complaint with the managers of Stop & Shop.  Said complaint should be in letter form complaining to Stop & Shop management that Rabbi Queer and his sign are offensive and repulsive to kosher eating citizens and should be removed immediately.  One should also make an informal verbal complaint, which would require one to verbally reprimand Stop & Shop management, and verbally rebuke Rabbi Queer, if he is seen venturing out of his bunker.  Hand gestures and curse words are permissible in such a situation.  Said verbal complaint should reach the point where one is arrested for breach of peace by Stop & Shop security guards.  The Larry Noodles Defense Fund will pay for your legal defense and get you out of jail. But if the Larry Noodles Defense Fund is tapped out there is no need to worry. Larry Noodles befriended many violent gang members while he was locked up, so you will be protected from serial rapists like Rabbi Greer.”

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