Greer Puts Down Pet Goat “Yankee” & Has Him For Dinner

Greer Puts Down Pet Goat “Yankee” & Has Him For Dinner


June 15, 2015

As previously reported, three young guys from Lakewood were lured into the Greer compound under false pretenses by a guy named “Wiener.”  Wiener asked if they would go to New Haven to help out with Shavuot services at a small synagogue.  The boyz agreed without knowing that they were being set up with Rabbi Greer.

The Lakewood boyz spent the first night, Friday night, at the Greer house for dinner.  Two other guys showed up at the dinner.  These two guys claimed that they were from Waterbury.  One guy was in his 50s or 60s.  He was staying with an 18 year old guy in one of the Greer apartments.  In spite of his best efforts, Larry Noodles has been unable to identify these two men.  One was named “Rafi” and the younger one “Davis.”

While the three Lakewood boyz ate dinner at the Greer home, in the lion’s den, Rabbi Greer regaled them with a story about the Greer pet goat named “Yankee.”  Yankee was a member of the Greer family.

Many years ago Rabbi Greer turned his garage and backyard into a farm and zoo.  Rabbi Greer has a number of goats living in his garage.  He has giant bales of hay in the garage.  He also has a few ducks in there.

Rabbi Greer has many animals.  But Rabbi Greer chose a name for only one of his many animals.  Yankee played with the Greer children.  Yankee was adored by Rabbi Greer’s youngest son. Or was it Rabbi Greer’s grandson?  It doesn’t matter.  Whoever it was, the little Greer was very close to Yankee.  Yankee was like the pet dog.

After some period of time Rabbi Greer decided that it was time for Yankee to meet his Maker.  Every year, just before Passover, Rabbi Greer turns one of his properties into a backyard slaughterhouse, inviting everyone in the neighborhood to partake in the festivities.  Rabbi Greer will purchase many animals for slaughter.  Usually Rabbi Greer has a young bull from a farm in upstate Connecticut delivered into the compound.  Rabbi Greer also purchases a gaggle of chickens.  On occasion Rabbi Greer will kill a goat.

Rabbi Greer doesn’t do the actual slaughter.  Rabbi Greer’s son was trained to slaughter animals.  He is the one who  will saw off the head of the animal with a giant kosher knife. To stabilize the animal, it is tied up to a tree.  The teenage boys from the Greer yeshiva will provide additional support by sitting on the animal.  While the animal’s head is being sawed off it grunts and kicks.  Eventually the animal stops kicking. A large pool of blood forms under the animal’s  partially severed head.  After the kicking and grunting stop, Rabbi Greer will shout, “Mazel Tov!”

Rabbi Greer told the three Lakewood boyz that Yankee was misbehaving around the other goats.  Yankee kicked, head butted, snarled, and head butted Greer. In other words, Yankee was behaving like a goat.  Rabbi Greer didn’t like Yankee’s behavior.  Only Rabbi Greer could be the alfa goat.

Rabbi Greer told the three Lakewood boyz that because of Yankee’s bad behavior, Yankee had to be put down.  Yankee was prepared for slaughter.  Yankee was escorted to the Greer guillotine. Yankee’s head was sawed off in front of the Greer children.  What happened next was even more disturbing.  Rabbi Greer told the Lakewood boyz that the Greer family ate Yankee for their Passover dinner.  Rabbi Greer thought this was the funniest thing in the world, to eat the family pet with your children.  The Lakewood boyz said Rabbi Greer couldn’t stop laughing.

Larry Noodles has been told that the Lakewood boyz may be suffering PTSD after their experience in New Haven.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.