Jewish Rat Pledges $30K for Hagbah on Yom Kippur

Jewish Rat Pledges $30K for Hagbah on Yom Kippur

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The biggest New York City corruption trial in years is being handled by Jewish rat Jona Rechnitz.  Rechnitz is not a lawyer.  Rechnitz is working for the Feds.  Jona has been testifying for days against his former friends, including the Mayor of New York, who has not been charged.  Jona is the son of a wealthy West Coast Jewish wheeler dealer named Robert Rechnitz, who is close with Netanyahu and other right wing Jewish criminals in high places.  Jona is cousins with Shlomo Rechnitz, who is rumored to have paid off Shmarya Rosenberg to shut down the website Failed Messiah.  I wonder how much money the Goat would pay Larry Noodles to shut down his blog.

Ten years ago Jona decided to leave the Left Coast and move to New York City and start his own criminal enterprise.  For almost ten years Jona used the family money to bribe and grease the palms of New York politicians, cops and wheeler dealers.  Jona’s partner in crime was a very frum looking guy from Boro Park named Jeremy Reichberg.  Reichberg is going on trial in the spring.  Jona will be there to testify against Jeremy.

Jona has been testifying against everyone he ever dealt with in New York politics, including Mayor DeBlasio.  DeBlasio hasn’t been busted by the Feds, he was too smart and covered his tracks. I see DeBlasio’s son quite often walking the streets of downtown New Haven.  The campus of Yale University is located right in the middle of downtown New Haven.  DeBasio’s son sticks out like a sore thumb in the preppy Yale campus with his giant Afro.  Nothing wrong with an Afro, but at least wear Black power and African clothing to match the hair.  This is the only guy I have ever seen clash his Afro with preppy duds.  Or is he clashing his preppy duds with an Afro?  Bobby Seale, the famous Black Panthers leader, who was tried by the Feds in New Haven in 1970, would not be impressed.  My first job out of law school was working for the attorney who successfully defended Mr. Seale in that trial.  I should have hired him to defend me, but he is long retired living in Florida.

Unfortunately Jona was never wearing a wire, so the jury is still deliberating in the current criminal trial of his former buddy hedge fund scam artist and Jewish philanthropist Murray Huberfeld and union boss Norman Seabrook.  If you are looking to lead a gang of white collar criminals you should wear a wire, so that when you are eventually caught you can show the Feds that you have solid evidence against all your friends and relatives.  The Feds will reward you with anything you want, even a visit to the White House. You can probably purchase a rat wire on Amazon.

Jona pleaded guilty some time ago.  He is waiting to be sentenced. His sentencing won’t be scheduled until after he testifies against all his former friends in New York politics. The Feds let Jona travel and do whatever he wants even though he is a convicted felon.  Over the recent New Year’s Jewish holidays he flew out to California and was honored by the local shul. Jona and his father made a $30K pledge to the shul and were honored with hagbah and maftir.  If you don’t know what this means you are obviously a goy and should navigate to a website for the goyim.  Someone at the shul got so enraged that this rat got honored that he slammed his siddur on a table and walked out.

The Feds let Rechnitz watch the World Series from box seats in Chicago.  The Feds also allowed Rechnitz to move back to California, which is strange because most rats prefer to live in the subway tunnels in New York City.

Meanwhile, back at the Goat compound, the Goat was spotted in New Haven this past Shabbat with his Ewe, proudly strolling the streets of his Edgewood neighborhood.  The Goat was supposed to be in Newport this past Shabbat.  I had blogged last week that someone from Newport contacted me and told me that the Goat was planning to stay in Newport.  The people in Newport must be happy that the Goat changed his plans.  They had a Goat free weekend.  I wonder if the Goat changed his plans after reading my blog.  If I was the one who drove the Goat out of Newport I think it is only fair that the citizens of Newport honor Larry Noodles in some way.

7 thoughts on “Jewish Rat Pledges $30K for Hagbah on Yom Kippur

    1. Thank you, I just made the correction. I need a bigger staff to do fact checking, would you be interested in the job?

  1. The Rechnitz with the power ball tickets and that bought out Failed Messia is Shlomo Yehuda Rechnitz aa first cousin not his father.

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