Jews in Federal Prison Pray for Rain

Jews in Federal Prison Pray for Rain

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At the end of the holiday of Sukkah Jews pray for rain. Jews wait until after they moved out of their Sukkah huts before they ask the Creator to water the crops in Israel.  It is not pleasant to eat in Sukkah huts when rain is falling on your head.  Indians may be able to do it, but Jews consider themselves more civilized than the Native Americans.

The uncivilized Jewish inmates locked up with me in Federal prison were permitted to pray for rain just as they would on the outside.  The rainy season in Israel is in the fall.  The more it rains in the fall, the better the crops will grow in the spring.  Jewish inmates can contribute to the success or failure of the crops in Israel depending on how hard they pray for rain.  Jewish prisoners also pray for an early release, but that never happens.  Jewish inmates have to settle for a good tomato crop.  More tomatoes to barter between inmates.

During one such rain prayer service the Jewish inmates got in a big fight.  A guy from the Tishler conspiracy was leading the prayers. Moshe “Teaneck Trouble” Butler decided to have some fun.  Butler started to splash some water on the guy leading the prayers for rain.  The 80 year old Satmar, ie., “Zaidy” got mad and ran up to the front in order to stop Butler from engaging in such behavior.  Butler stopped with the water.  Zaidy sat down in the chair in the front of the shul in order to keep an eye on Butler.  “Sam’s Club” snuck up behind Zaidy and tied him up with a gartel rope to the chair.  Butler took out his cup of water.  Zaidy hit the cup with his hand, causing the water to splash all over the place.  Then Junkyard Al came up behind Zaidy with a bucket of water.  Zaidy hit the bucket, causing it to splash on Junkyard Al.  Things got very tense. Eventually the guys settled down.  It wasn’t worth going to the SHU (solitary) over prayers for rain.

Zaidy wasn’t afraid of anyone, even though he was a frail 80 year old man.  Zaidy recently got released and is now doing the end of his decade long sentence in the Brooklyn Halfway House.  I heard that the blueboyz tried to pull a last minute fast one on Zaidy.  The boyz in blue told Zaidy that there was no room at the halfway house and he would have to spend many more months locked up in the Otisville prison.  I heard Zaidy went insane and gave everyone a hard time.

The only one who saved Zaidy was M-Shoolum.  MShoolum Jacobowitz has been locked up for many years, but he has good political connections on the outside.  I heard that MShoolum helped get Zaidy released to the halfway house.  I heard that a white Mercedes picked up Zaidy right at the Otisville camp.  Zaidy didn’t have to get processed at the medium before being released like most inmates.  Zaidy should get special treatment for a guy his age.  Most European countries grant amnesty to elderly prisoners.  Only Americans take the adage “an eye for an eye” literally, and convert prisons into old age homes.  The only thing the Feds forgot is hospice behind bars.  Why should hospice felons get any special treatment?

Zaidy still has to spend many months in a halfway house.  The only way he is allowed out of the halfway house is if he gets a job. The Feds are forcing this 80 year old man to get a job.  How many companies are hiring 80 year old convicts these days?  Zaidy should try getting a job at Walmart or Amazon, which are really private prisons for most employees, other than the CEO billionaires.  These private prisons get subsidized by the Feds when employees are part time, earning below the poverty line, entitling them to government benefits. Welcome to Penal Colony USA.  At this rate, Zaidy will never be free.

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