Mshulum Jacobowitz was recently released from Otisville under the First Step Act. Mshulum ran the Otisville kosher kitchen with an iron fist with his right hand man inmate Matt Getto. Mshulum guaranteed that Jews were fed a decent kosher Shabbos meal every Friday night and Saturday. The Jews starved the rest of the week with Meal Mart frozen kosher tv dinners and cans of sardines, but that helped make Shabbos all the more meaningful. We had something to look forward to on Shabbos.
During Mshulum’s tenure as the Head Jew In Charge the Head Goy in Charge of Otisville Camp was Correctional Officer Scalba. For the most part Scalba was a decent guy, he didn’t try to get guys thrown in the SHU, ie., solitary. I don’t think I ever saw Scalba throw anyone in the SHU while I was locked up. I saw him threaten guys with the SHU all the time, including myself. One time he said he was going to throw me in the SHU because my legal visitors were two scantily dressed young women, an attorney and her paralegal. Some inmates, ie., rats, complained to Scalba that the women didn’t have a briefcase, notebooks or file folders. The women said that it was a very hot day in July and they weren’t going to court. Scalba accused me of abusing my right to unlimited legal visits. Scalba stood over my visitors and measured their skirt lengths as if he was the Rosh Yeshivah of Otisville. Everyone knows that Rabbi Pinter was the Rosh Yeshiva of Otisville. My visitors failed the Haradi skirt length test. Scalba sent them home. At least he didn’t stone them. After they left Scalba hauled me into his office and screamed at me. He accused me of trying to sneak my girlfriends into the prison on a legal visit. He said he was going to have me thrown in the SHU, ie., solitary. I was a nervous wreck all day waiting to be hauled into the SHU. Much to my relief I was never hauled into the SHU. After that incident Scalba enacted the “Noodles Rule.” All legal visitors would have to apply for prior approval before visiting an inmate. Prior to the Noodles rule all you had to do was show up with a bar card and the guards let you in.
Scalba was disciplined and kicked out of the camp last year when he was investigated by Department of Justice internal affairs for taking bribes from inmate Pinkerstein. Scalba was transferred to the medium prison and demoted. At least he wasn’t thrown in the SHU. I heard he is either working at a desk in the basement in the medium or at the front desk of the A1 lobby. I heard he was ratted out by a Russian Jew named Alex.
I heard that a new officer has been appointed to run the camp, a guy named DeLeo. I heard that DeLeo does not have much love for the Jews and he can’t be bribed with noodle kugel. He likes Italians spaghetti. Officer DeLeo took a liking to inmate Michael “The Situation” Sorrentino. The tabloids recently reported that the Sitch is bragging that he is “living like a king” in Otisville. Is the Sitch rubbing the fact that he is the teacher’s pet in Jewish inmates’ faces? Sitches can get stitches. My sources are saying that the Sitch and DeLeo are “paisanos,” ie., Italian-American compatriots. The Sitch can charm DeLeo all he wants, but once the Sitch is out of Otisville he will dump DeLeo like a wet noodle. The Sitch will move on and write his book, as he told the tabloids, and make a lot of money. The Sitch will write about correctional officer named DeLeo. I can assure you Mr. DeLeo, it won’t be flattering. Books and movies are for entertainment purposes. DeLeo will be turned into a caricature low paid ex-military redneck Federal correctional employee who likes to get hammered with his friends at the local biker strip bar on Friday nights. I can assure you Officer DeLeo, you won’t be invited to the next Fyre Festival with the Sitch, you won’t be driven around in a limo with the Sitch drinking champagne, nor will you get VIP access to the Sitch’s Jersey Shore reunion premiere. Snookie won’t even talk to you.
Most correctional officers think inmates are lower than pond scum. Correctional officers are the lowest paid Federal employees. They live in trailer parks. During the government shutdown they lined up at the soup kitchens. It could be worse. They could be inmates. But every now and then there are a few decent officers who befriend the inmates. Some guards on the night shifts used to hang out and watch tv with the inmates and let the inmates use the vending machines. There was a female guard who used to sit in the bunk of a large Italian stallion named Vinnie. They used to walk around the camp together. She was not attractive. She was single. She had nobody in her life. She had pictures of her cats on her car. When you are locked up all the women look like centerfold models.
Now that Scalba, Mshulum and Getto are out of Otisville there is nobody to fill the void. There is a power vacuum. Mshulum had all the connections on the outside. Scabla and Mshulum had a good relationship. There has not been a strong Jewish leader to take over Mshulum’s role. Plus there is not a lot of religious Jews or Hasidim left in the camp. The religious population goes up and down depending on how many Hasidim the Feds are busting at any given time. The Feds must not be bringing many new indictments against the Hasidim. The crime rate in the Hasidic community must be going down. Either that or the Hasidim are getting better at committing crime and not getting caught.
The only guy I know who still works in the kosher kitchen is an old Israeli guy named Lev. Lev has no connections in the American Hasidic criminal underworld. There are a couple of other guys also working in the kosher kitchen. The guys running the kosher kitchen now don’t have the kind of power or support on the outside that Mshulum had. Plus powerful Rabbis Pinter and Ben Haim are long gone. This is very depressing. I implore Jews all over the world to say extra tehillim and pray for the Jews of Otisville. Moshiach NOW!
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