Labor Day is a day off for most Americans. For Larry Noodles it was a day to run in the 5K New Haven Road Race and investigate whether the Goat set up his water station on Ella Grasso Boulevard. Every year the Goat’s underling Marc Roffman set up a water station at the Roffman house on the Boulevard. Runners would stop and grab cups of water. Rape victim Avi Hack used to run the race while the Goat and his cult followers cheered as Avi passed the Goat water station. I thoroughly searched for Avi but there was no sign of him at the race.
This year there was no Goat water station, and no child rape station. Just the Goat and his new friends from Lakewood, whom he has to pay to be his friends, milling around the compound. This past Shabbos the Goat conducted services on schedule. These Lakewooders could be heard singing for the Goat at the Goat rape center. I guess some guys will do anything for a few bucks.
This year Marc Roffman no longer lives in the house on the Boulevard. My sources have told me that Marc has abandoned the Goat, along with many others who have long left their disgraced cult leader. The current followers of the Goat from Lakewood NJ have no history with the Goat. The Goat is paying them for their support. At one point when people first started leaving the Goat, the Goat told the remaining members of his shul that it was good that the weak ones left leaving only the true diehards. In the Goat’s mind this made his cult even stronger than before.
The race started at 8:30 AM. Registration was at 6:30 AM. The cost was $35.00 for a race sponsored by the Faxon Law Group. It used to be Stratton Faxon Law Group but the lawyer named Stratton got busted for assault and breach of peace. Stratton was kicked out of the law firm, and now it is just Faxon. Stratton said the criminal charges were “bogus” and were filed by Goat buddy and disgraced former Police Chief Dean Esserman, and Mayor Harp, in order to embarrass him because he was an alderman. The cops said he got in a physical altercation with his girlfriend while he was married. Stratton said the marriage was “long over.” Stratton said she attacked him. He also mentioned that the press wanted a good story about him and a “younger woman of a different race.” Attorney Stratton’s charges were of the violent crime variety, unlike myself, a white collar criminal. Stratton didn’t go to jail. He is not a real criminal. Only real criminals go to jail. Statton is still out there walking the streets with his younger woman of a different race.
Being the criminal that I am, I refused to pay the $35.00 admission fee to the road race. Plus the Feds don’t want me wasting precious money that could be used to pay my restitution to the big banks who approved and underwrote the subprime, no doc, no income verification, anyone with a pulse approved mortgages that I closed. The Feds were already paid about a million bucks in forfeiture money from the ringleader of my conspiracy. That money didn’t go to the victim banks, it went right into the budget of the Department of Justice. Forfeiture money doesn’t necessarily go to victims. In many cases the Feds make out better than the victims, a practice that is the subject to much criticism. Now the Feds are looking for restitution money to pay the poor banks who were victimized by criminals like myself.
At the starting gate you can see everyone wearing their cheesy Faxon Law Firm t-shirts. I refused to wear the shirt of an attorney who ditched his partner Stratton merely because Stratton got busted by the New Haven cops. Instead I wore my own t-shirt and pasted my name “Larry Noodles” on the front. On the back I pasted the number 18. I wore my prison sweat pants, the ones I made some alterations on while I was in prison when I was the prison tailor. I could have went to the SHU for making such alterations, but I took my chances, I am a lawbreaker after all. I snuck into the race when the cops weren’t looking. I learned how to avoid the cops when I was in prison, they were always on my tail trying to get me in trouble. This is how I got the nickname Larry Noodles. I hid cooked spiral pasta in my cubicle. The boys in blue raided my cube and found the illegal pasta. The rest is history.
After I ran the road race, in 29 minutes, I ran into Merlis, and was able to get an exclusive interview with Merlis. Here is the interview that I recorded with Merlis: