Michael Cohen Released From Otisville

Michael Cohen Released From Otisville

The mainstream media reported today that Michael Cohen is getting released on a extended furlough tomorrow (Thursday). Cohen’s lawyer would not confirm that he is getting released on Thursday. I just heard from a source, who heard from another source, that Cohen was already released and is watching Netflix with his wife and two children as I type this blog. I am waiting for further confirmation, but it would make sense. The Bureau of Prisons, and Cohen, don’t want hoards of reporters showing up at Otisville tomorrow to watch Cohen leave the prison. Tomorrow the BOP will tell the media that Cohen is already home. The reporters will harass Cohen at his Manhattan apartment and not harass the guards at Otisville. Penal institutions are like the mafia, they don’t like publicity.

The Bureau of Prisons has been releasing many Otisville campers to short term home confinement furloughs recently. Inmate bankruptcy attorney Peter Ressler has been home for the last few months. Ressler has over two years left on his sentence. The Bureau of Prisons may extend Ressler’s furlough, or drag him back into Club Fed. Other Otisville guys similar to Ressler have been released to short term furloughs. Everyone has been getting released to short term furloughs. Everyone except inmate Michael Cohen, the Prodfather Rabbi Mendel Epstein, and international drug dealer Jon Braun. The Prodfather and Baby Faced Braunster have many years left on their 10 year sentences. Michael Cohen only has a little over a year left on his sentence. The Bureau of Prisons has stonewalled Cohen. Conspiracy theorists would say that Trump had a role in the Bureau of Prisons slamming the bars on Cohen.

I am not a conspiracy theorist, but if I were a conspiracy theorist, I believe that Cohen was released because of my blog. Over the last two weeks I have reported information about Cohen that has not been reported anywhere in the mainstream media. I wrote about Cohen’s “heart” attack / panic attack, and the fight that landed Cohen in the SHU (solitary confinement). I disclosed the names of the celebrities, politicos and writers who flew in by helicopter to visit Cohen. Penal institutions are completely sealed off to the public. The guys who run these institutions do not want anyone to know what goes on behind the prison walls. The BOP doesn’t want me writing about what goes on in Otisville. If Cohen is kicked out of Otisville I will not be able to write about Cohen’s escapades. The capos at the BOP decided that it was in their best interest to send Cohen home. The BOP doesn’t need the heat. The BOP did the same thing with an inmate who was giving me information about Anthony Weiner. After I started posting about Weiner in the halfway house, my source, who was an inmate, was suddenly released and sent home. I will have to find a new source to provide me with information about Cohen. I am hoping that one of his kids, either Samantha or Jake, reaches out to me and provides me with dirt on daddy.

Tune in for more news from the inside, and the outside…

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The opinions expressed in this blog are solely the opinions of Larry Noodles. These opinions do not necessarily reflect the opinions or views of Lawrence Dressler, Donald Trump, Stormy Daniels, Jared Kushner, Anthony Fauci or Joey Buttafuoco. If you have been offended by anything that has been written in this blog, you need to file a formal complaint with Hashem. Moshiach Now!

Whoever has the ability to protest against the sins committed by people in his city, but does not, he is punished for the sins of the people of his city, unless he lives in the City of Williamsburg. Shabbos 55.

Rav Elyashiv rules that if a wicked man, or wicked goat, dies on Shabbos and his corpse is lying in the sun in shame, one should move the corpse by placing a child or loaf of bread on the corpse. Although one is permitted to agitate a wicked person while the wicked person is alive, now that the wicked person is dead and his nefarious activities have ceased, one should offer the wicked dead person a respectable burial. Larry Noodles is very machmir in the mitzvah of agitating a living wicked person or a wicked goat, as the case may be.

Rav Ula once said, “if you did something evil, making you a little wicked, you should not do more evil and become very wicked, just as one who got bad breath from eating garlic should not then continue to eat garlic and make his breath worse.” Shabbos 31

Rav Abele, the famous dayan of Vilna, as a seven-year-old, was once ill and in bed. The doctor saw that his mouth was full of blisters. Turning to the boy’s parents, the doctor explained that if the tongue isn’t clean, it’s a sure sign of a malfunctioning stomach. “Is there anyone who can truly say his mouth is clean?” retorted the sick child. “Chazal tell us in the gemara Bava Basra that most people are guilty of theft and everyone of loshon hora!

“The hand of G-d lay heavy upon the he-goats, the crooks, the politicians, and the infidels, and He wrought havoc among them: He struck them with hemorrhoids.” I Samuel 5-6

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