Two goyim just checked into the Otisville Jewish Federal prison. Michael “The Situation” Sorrentino, the leading man in the reality show Jersey Shore was busted for tax evasion. Michael will be doing 8 months in Otisville. Billy McFarland, a guy who organized a high class music festival that went bust will also be spending some time in Otisville. McFarland was sued for $100 million.
These two high profile goyim are from the State of New Jersey. They should be locked up in Fort Dix Federal Correctional Institution in New Jersey. Why is the Bureau of Prisons sending these two young goyim to Otisville, a prison that caters to white collar religious Jews?
Otisville has been getting a lot of attention because Trump’s rat Michael Cohen wants to do his three year prison stint in Otisville. Michael Cohen lives in Manhattan. Michael Cohen is a Jew but not religious. Otisville makes sense for Cohen. But what are these two goyim going to do in Otisville?
Otisville’s population is about 80 Jews and 20 goyim. Most of the goyim are white collar criminals. The remainder are drug dealers. At times the goyim work for the Jews during the holidays. During the Passover seders the Jews hire the goyim to help with serving the food and cleaning up. They pay them with kosher food.
McFarland asked the sentencing judge to recommend that he be sent to Otisville. The Situation didn’t ask the judge to go anywhere. Somehow The Situation ended up with the Jews.
The Situation and McFarland have one thing in common. They both had past drinking problems. After McFarland got busted and was out on bond he committed new crimes. McFarland took money for another event. This event was also a flop. The Feds busted him for the second event.
While McFarland was out on bond he solicited the same investors he duped with the Fyre Festival scheme. He got them to invest in his new venture called NYC VIP Access. NYC VIP Access would give them exclusive access to fashion, music and sports events such as the 2018 Met Gala, Burning Man, Coachella 2018, the 2018 Grammy Awards, Super Bowl LII, a Cleveland Cavaliers game and team dinner with Lebron James. Burning Man was described by prosecutors as “an annual counterculture event in Nevada’s Black Rock desert from August 26 through September 3, 2018.” McFarland did not solicit money under his own name. McFarland hired a few guys to make the phone calls and send the email solicitations.
Federal prosecutors argued for the maximum jail sentence for McFarland. They focused on the fact that he pleaded guilty to the crime of “greed.” You will not find any crime in the United States Code called “greed” but whenever a defendant is deemed to be “greedy” the Feds seek the maximum punishment. Larry Noodles calls this the Sentencing Guidelines upward enhancement for greediness. Prosecutors tried to use this argument in the Manafort case. They paraded Manafort’s $15K ostrich jacket in front of the jury. The Federal judge scolded prosecutors in Manafort’s case: Judge Ellis told prosecutors: “The government doesn’t want to prosecute somebody because they wear nice clothes, do they?” The Judge should have said “tacky clothes.”
The Feds wanted McFarland to sit for close to twenty years, a sentence typically handed out to murderers. They argued to Sentencing Judge Naomi Buchwald: “At the same time when McFarland was aggressively soliciting investments for the Festival – McFarland upgraded to a three-bedroom penthouse apartment with approximately $21,000 in monthly rent… In addition, McFarland spent roughly $215,000 on furniture and interior design expenses. Among the places he travelled to – just during the time he was defrauding Fyre investors – were Atlantic City, Las Vegas, Beverly Hills, Orlando, and the Hamptons, and McFarland spent approximately $62,000 on luxury hotel stays in these locations. McFarland’s extravagant spending also included the following estimated personal expenses: $46,000 on fine dining at expensive restaurants and entertainment in exclusive clubs in Manhattan; $64,000 in transportation costs to include payments on the defendant’s Maserati, car service, and yacht charters in the Hamptons; $41,000 for high-end clothing…”
McFarland didn’t have much of a chance at sentencing. He committed new crimes while he was being prosecuted for other crimes. Plus he was “greedy.” The only defense McFarland’s attorneys could think of was mental illness and alcoholism. They submitted psychiatrist letters to Judge Naomi Buchwald: “First, Dr. Paradis observes that Billy’s scores on the diagnostic tests she administered and his history strongly indicate that Billly suffers from Unspecified Bipolar Related Disorder. Second, Dr. Paradis observes that Billy does not suffer from Antisocial Personality Disorder. Third, Dr. Paradis observes that Billy’s behavior has been at least in part fueled by a substantial pattern of severe alcohol abuse, perhaps as a form of self-medication for his Bipolar Related Disorder. McFarland “was experiencing symptoms of mania or hypomania due to an untreated Unspecified Bipolar and Related Disorder. He was not sleeping and felt exhausted and overwhelmed. He had a diminished capacity to foresee the consequences of his actions. Mr. McFarland would benefit greatly from being placed in a comprehensive treatment program that offers a range of services including psychiatric care, individual psychotherapy, and substance abuse counseling.”
In other words, McFarland self medicated his bi-polar disorder with illegal drug use and excessive drinking. McFarland could benefit from drug and alcohol rehabilitation. McFarland is not deemed to be anti-social. Give me a break! Everyone suffers from bi polar disorder. Drinking and drugging has never been recognized as a defense to the commission of any crime. If McFarland were diagnosed as anti-social the judge would lock him up and throw away the key. McFarland clearly is anti-social. McFarland committed new crimes while he was out on bond. How much more evidence of anti-social behavior to do you need to diagnose someone as anti-social? What kind of quack doctors did McFarland hire? Why did McFarland’s attorneys even bother to make these stupid arguments?
Judge Naomi Buchwald was McFarland’s sentencing judge. Buchwald is a Jewess who graduated with honors from Brandeis University and Columbia Law School. Buchwald was appointed by Bill Clinton. Her most famous ruling was to deny Donald Trump the right to block users of his Twitter account because of their political views. She found Trump violated the First Amendment. She also ruled that New York State had the right to regulate mohels, ie., the guys who perform circumcisions. The Hasidim were not very happy with this ruling. New York Hasidim believe that the State of New York has no right to interfere with their right to infect their children with herpes.
Judge Buchwald saved the day for McFarland. Baby faced McFarland was facing twenty years in a medium security prison with gang members, murderers, rapists, and other violent miscreants. Buchwald saved his life by only sentencing him to only 6 years in Otisville. McFarland should be doing back flips. He might as well convert to Judaism while he is in Otisville. It was a Jewish woman who saved his life. Buchwald is a former Federal prosecutor. She wasn’t intimidated by the heartless cops at the Department of Justice who were looking for 20 years. Mazel tov to Judge Buchwald. Good luck, and mazel to McFarland.
Michael “The Situation” Sorrentino, on the other hand, is not a real criminal. He cheated on his taxes. How did that become a crime? Sorrentino isn’t even a real actor. He was one of the “stars” of the reality show Jersey Shore back in 2009. Since then he has appeared on the Howard Stern Show, Conan O’Brien, Jay Leno, Ellen DeGeneres and Dancing with the Stars. Sorrentino’s last performance was at a Comedy Central roast of Donald Trump, long before the Donald got involved in politics. Sorrentino was booed off the stage. Sorrentino was offered $10K by Abercrombie & Fitch not to wear the company’s clothes. A spokesman for the company stated: “Mr Sorrentino’s association with our brand could cause significant damage to our image.” Sorrentino refused to take the money. Abercrombie started to manufacture shirts mocking Sorrentino, that read “The Fitchuation” and “Gym Tan Laundry…You Know The Deal.” Sorrentino sued Abercrombie for $4 million. Judge Marcia Cooke, an African American Federal Judge, dismissed Sorrentino’s lawsuit. In a footnote to her decision Cooke referred to Sorrentino as a “stupid white cracker guido.” Sorrentino must have been pissed.
Sorrentino will have plenty of time to go to the gym, work on his tan, and do his laundry while he sits in Otisville for the next eight months. Mobster inmate “Neighborhood Mitch” Engelson used to refer to guys with short sentences as “microwave ovens.” The only way to cook your own food in prison is with microwave ovens, which are located all over the facility. By the time you food is done in the microwave Sorrentino will be on the outside going to the gym, getting his tan and doing his laundry.
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