The Goat has been having problems getting a minyan together since his conviction of four felonies of counts of risk of injury to a minor on September 25th. Shabbos was September 27th. The Goat couldn’t round up a minyan for his first Shabbos as a convicted felon. September 30th was Rosh Hashana. The Goat failed in his attempt to get anyone to show up at his Nightmare on Elm Street in order to wish him a Happy New Year. Not that the Goat has anything to be happy about this new year.
The Ewe and the Goat have been spotted walking on Elm Street from their house on 133 West Park Avenue towards the Goat’s giant shul building located at 865 Elm Street, which the Goat purchased from the City of New Haven for a dollar. The Goat is on home confinement with an ankle bracelet. The Goat can only leave his house in order to go to shul or to see his doctor or lawyer. Speaking of lawyers, the Goat is still being represented by Attorney Jeffrey Sklarz, who is defending the Goat against foreclosure of this shul building by rape victim Eli Mirlis. Sklarz was just elected President of the New Haven Jewish Community Center. I have been a member of the New Haven Jewish Community Center since before Sklarz was even born. Not my President. I’m moving to Canada. President Sklarz should daven with the Goat and his Ewe at the Goat Child Rape Center.
A hearing will be held on October 21st in order to determine the date that the deed to the Roger Sherman Goat school building will be turned over to Eli Mirlis. Jeffrey Sklarz will try to delay the deed turnover for as long as possible, so that the Goat can continue to pray with his Ewe at his empty building. The Goat will not go down without a fight. If the Goat is ordered to serve his jail time on November 20th, or at some short time thereafter to allow the Goat to “gather his affairs” the Goat will have no need for his shul building. The Goat will try to convince Judge Alander that he should stay in his Goat house on West Park Avenue until his appeal is decided by the Connecticut Appellate Court. I expect the Goat to file an appeal of his conviction very soon.
My contacts have recently reported that the Goat has been reaching out to a number of guys for Yom Kippur, which falls on Tuesday night. Does the Goat really expect to attract a minyan to a shul run by a pedophile goat wearing an electronic ankle bracelet? Is the Goat in denial? Da Nile is in Egypt, the birthplace of the Goat’s mother. The Goat should be deported to Egypt.
The Goat was filmed by the New Haven Police pulling his pants over his shoes while he undressed as a part of their search warrant. The Goat did not take off his shoes before he took off his pants. When the jury was shown this film the Goat insisted that he leave the room, as it was not fitting for a man of his religious stature to be present while his private parts were displayed on an overhead projector in the courtroom for all to see.
What if the Goat sets off his ankle bracelet by accident during davening on Yom Kippur? I could see the Goat trying to shove his pants under his ankle bracelet, just as he did with his pants over his shoes, which could set off the alarms at the New Haven Police station. Would you want your Yom Kippur prayers interrupted by law enforcement guys in flak jackets with machine guys pointing at your head? It would make Yom Kippur far more meaningful, after all, on Yom Kippur it is sealed – who shall live and who shall die, who in good time, and who by an untimely death, who by water and who by fire, who by sword and who by wild beast, who by famine and who by thirst, who by earthquake and who by plague, who by strangulation and who by stoning, and who by machine gun while praying in the Goat shul.
The Goat may have a better chance of attracting a minyan of ten guys if he asks his numerous attorneys to pray with him. At this point the Goat cannot be too picky, he may have to count a few goyim and women in his minyan. The Goat is paying these guys big bucks to defend him in Court, why not pay them to pray with him? Attorney and JCC President Jeff Sklarz would be counted as one Jew. Jeff can bring his father Attorney Mark Sklarz, two Jews. Jeff Sklarz could bring his associate Lisa Perkins, who represented Lou Goatberg when Lou was charged with tax evasion by the Feds, three Jews. The Goat could ask David Grudberg, who represented the Goat in the civil case that resulted in a $20 million verdict, four Jews. The Goat could ask his long time eviction attorney Stuart Margolis to pray with him. Five Jews. The Goat could recruit Attorney Jonathan Einhorn, who is defending Sarah Greer, the Ewe, in a fraudulent conveyance case brought by Mirlis. Six Jews. The Goat could ask Willie the Dow, who spent weeks learning about the Jewish religion from expert witnesses during the Goat’s criminal trial, which would qualify the Dow as a Jewish convert even though he still calls a sukkah a sucka. The only sucka is the Goat who spent millions on attorneys who took all his ill begotten money and lost every case. Six Jews, one Dow convert. The Goat could convert his buddy Attorney William Ward, who hugged the Goat in the parking lot after the Goat lost the $20 million verdict. The Dow never hugged the Goat, even after the Dow crashed with the guilty verdict. At least the Dow didn’t ditch the Goat when I approached the Goat with a video camera, unlike David Grudberg, who ran from the Goat when I approached them with a camera. See video below. Counting the Goat, the Ewe, Jeff Sklarz, David Grudberg, Mark Sklarz, Lisa Perkins, Jon Einhorn, Stuart Margolis, Willie the Dow, and Willie the Ward, you would have eight Jews and two converts, just enough for the Goat Yom Kippur minyan. The Goat could also recruit his Jewish marshal Mark Winik who serves the Goat’s eviction papers for Stuart Margolis, as an extra, just in case the Dow stays up late the night before and crashes the following morning and can’t make it to services.
For G-d, For Country, For Yale graduate Willie the Dow, For Yom Kippur.
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