Michael Cohen has appointed himself to lead the Jewish inmates at the Otisville prison camp. Michael Cohen is trying to get Donald Trump, the guy he ratted out, to shut down the Otisville prison camp and send all the inmates home for home confinement. Michael Cohen created an online petition on Change.org asking his nemesis Donald Trump to send the campers home. Cohen wants Trump to convert the prison camp into a makeshift hospital, with “medical triage” to treat inmates who have been cursed with the coronavirus. Over 40K people signed Cohen’s petition.
Michael Cohen named himself on his petition “compassionate camper.” What a stupid nickname. When I was in Otisville guys were named “Red” “Big Joe,” “Little Joe,” “Kitchen Joe,” “Fox,” “Neighborhood Mitch,” “Zipperhead,” “The Red Army,” “Georgito,” “Useless”, etc… No self respecting hardened criminal would call himself “the compassionate camper.”
Cohen addressed his petition to President Donald Trump and Rabbi Jared Kushner. Cohen wrote the following: “The Federal Prison Camps are without adequate medical staff and are without proper medical equipment, sterilization techniques, gloves, sanitizers, masks, and other necessary items. Hospitals are forecast to be full, and transporting sick prisoners will be impractical. Making the Camps into triage and logistical staging grounds helps to keep the Bureau of Prison’s union members at minimum risk of exposure from the higher security facilities. Without your intervention, scores of non-violent offenders are at risk of death, and these people were not given a death sentence. We Campers are responsible enough to be on Home-Confinement after all, we Campers elect to stay AT Prison, therefore, we can reasonably be trusted to stay AT Home. To save lives, please consider to home confine campers – which permits safer environments for triage, care, logistics, and BOP Staff; it is a safer ‘Win-Win’, over a difficult situation.”
Michael Cohen, the “compassionate camper” is obviously delusional. Cohen must be working late nights at the Otisville sewer plant. He is getting sick from the noxious odors at the Otisville sewer plant. Yesterday, Trump tweeted, probably in response to Cohen, the following: “Our country wasn’t built to be shut down America will, again, and soon, be open for business. Very soon. We cannot let the cure be worse than the problem itself. We have a very active flu season. It’s heading to 50,000 or more deaths. And you look at automobile accidents, which are far greater than any numbers we’re talking about. That doesn’t mean we’re going to tell everybody no more driving of cars. So we have to do things to get our country open.” Yesterday powerful Goldman Sachs strongman Lloyd Blankfein tweeted: “Extreme measures to flatten the virus curve is sensible for a time to stretch out the strain on health infrastructure. But crushing the economy, jobs and morale is also a health issue-and beyond. Within a very few weeks let those with a lower risk return to work.”
The money men who control the United State Government could care less if thousands of Americans die of the coronavirus, let alone a hundred Jewish guys locked up in Club Fed in Otisville with Michael Cohen the compassionate camper. Trump tweeted that 50,000 die from automobile accidents. If 50,000 people die from the coronavirus Trump won’t shed a tear. The government has more important things to worry about, like their stock portfolios. Not all of our Senators had the chance to dump their stocks just before the market crashed. Most members of Congress are stuck with stock portfolios that are losing value every day. Its time to get back to work so that the stock market will go up. That applies to Otisville guys as well. Cohen should ask the government for a raise for inmate workers. I remember when I worked at the Otisville warehouse I only earned 18 cents an hour. The Feds took out ten percent and applied it to my restitution order. If the Feds paid inmates like Michael Cohen a higher salary for working at the sewer plant he would have more money to pay his restitution.
Death caused by the coronavirus will just be another statistic, just like deaths from car accidents, work related accidents, drug overdoses, airline crashes, military accidents, lung cancer due to smoking, medical malpractice, and inmates who get shot and / or beaten by other inmates or by the guards. The list is endless. People take risks every day. Coronavirus is just another risk you take when you get out of bed in the morning. President Trump could care less if Michael Cohen, or any other inmate, gets the death sentence from coronavirus in the Otisville prison camp. I think President Trump would actually take pleasure if he saw his rat get the death sentence in Otisville.
The former “fixer” for Donald Trump, who threatened to break the legs of anyone who dared to cross Mr. Trump, including females, ie., porn stars and strippers, is now the “compassionate camper.” Did Mr. Cohen turn over a new leaf? Did Otisville rehabilitate Mr. Cohen? I don’t think so. I heard that Mr. Cohen is an arrogant blowhard in Otisville. I believe the camp right now is split into three different factions. You have Michael Cohen and his small group of sycophants. You have the dangerous drug dealer Jon Braun gang. And then you have the Rabbi Epstein faction who control the shul. Back when I was in Otisville there was Jewish unity. When I was there all Jews were allowed in the shul, regardless of their background. Today Rabbi Epstein has refused to accept Jews who are not hard core. Michael Cohen has his few followers who are impressed by his celebrity status. Jon Braun has his gang of hardened Jewish criminals. Outside of these three factions you have an assorted mix of miserable old men, odd balls, psychos, and freaks. I heard that one of the guys almost had a nervous breakdown because his halfway house got cancelled because of the coronavirus. He is now stuck in Otisville for a few more months.
Last week Michael Cohen, the compassionate camper, tweeted the following: “participating in the Shabbat service in observance of Rosh Chodesh, saying Yizker for those who have passed and praying for the world to heal from the coronavirus epidemic. Due to the restrictions imposed on public gatherings, religious history is being made on Friday evening at FCI-Otisville Satellite Camp. Perhaps one of the only Friday / Saturday Shabbat services will take place will take place with nearly 50 Jewish inmates (half the Camp’s population).” Cohen is the stupidest Jew who has ever been locked up in Otisville. Cohen doesn’t know the difference between Shabbat and Rosh Chodesh. Yizkor is not recited on Rosh Chodesh or Shabbat. Cohen doesn’t even know how to spell yizkor. Cohen should spend some time learning about the Jewish religion with inmate Rabbi Epstein, the Rabbi who attached cattle prods to guys testicles to get them to sign a get, ie., a divorce decree. Epstein’s nickname in the NY Post was “Rabbi Prod-father.”
Cohen’s tweet got 213 likes, 27 retweets, and a number of comments. Cohen’s tweet also attracted a few trolls. I will skip the comments of support and get right to the trolls, who said the following: “Hey you remember that time you were still employed by your old boss and you said Hilary would end up in jail?” “How many blowjobs did you give today you fcking rat?” “So this reveals that JU’s are Criminals when comparing GOY Oopulations with JU. U+ should be a Shame nay Proud for Zionising the COVID epedemic.” One guy posted a GIF of a rat bench pressing a mouse trap.
I signed Cohen’s petition to get out of Otisville. I posted a comment with a link to my blog. When Cohen gets out I hope we can be friends, hang out, learn the Daf with Rabbi Epstein, and go fishing together. Moshiach NOW!
The opinions expressed in this blog are solely the opinions of Larry Noodles and do not necessarily reflect the opinions or views of Larry Dressler, Michael Cohen, Willie the Dow, Joseph Merly, Louis Rubano, John Williams, Tom Brady, Avi Hack, Ezi Greer or the Goat. If you have been offended by anything that has been written in this blog, you need to stop taking yourself so seriously and you need to file a formal complaint with G-d. Moshiach Now!
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