Otisville CEO Claims Torture Under Nelson Mandela UN Rules

Otisville CEO Claims Torture Under Nelson Mandela UN Rules

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Douglas Hodge is the former CEO of PIMCO Investment Company. PIMCO manages about 2 trillion dollars in assets. Hodge grew up in Greenwich, Connecticut and is a graduate of Princeton University and Harvard Business School. Hodge received a $45 million bonus from PIMCO in 2014. Hodge retired from PIMCO two years later. On June 23, 2020 Mr. Hodge checked into the Otisville prison camp. Blue blood Hodge, from Laguna Beach, pleaded guilty to paying close to a million bucks to the Boston Jewish criminal mastermind college admissions fixer William Singer.

Douglas Hodge recently filed a motion trying to get out of Otisville early. Hodge was forced to eat gefilte fish with the Jewish inmates. Hodge claimed this constituted cruel and usual punishment. Hodge’s lawyer made the following argument: “Mr. Hodge spent 29 days in solitary confinement – everyday in the same cramped cell, alone, without any outside stimulation aside from his short walk to pick up his meals and the infrequent time-limited phone call. This four-week and one day quarantine is double the period constituting a prohibited practice amounting to torture under the
United Nations Nelson Mandela Rules.”

Hodge paid the Georgetown tennis coach $150K to get his little rug rat girl into Georgetown University on a tennis scholarship. Hodge juiced up her application by falsely claiming she played tennis in a tennis court built by the Hodge family in the Cambodian jungle for the peasants. Hodge never built a tennis court in the Cambodian jungle. Hodge claimed he funded an orphanage in Cambodia. Hodge also stated that he adopted two children from an orphanage in Morocco. Hodge is married to Kylie Schuyler. They have a total of seven children. Its not clear how many were adopted and how many spent their formative years in the stomach of Kylie. Kylie Schuyler grew up in Nebraska and is German, not Jewish. But Kylie’s favorite female role model is Gloria Steinem.

Hodge tried to illegally get most of his children into universities with the help of Singer. Hodge falsified his son’s Georgetown application by falsely stating that his son was the co-captain of the Japanese National tennis team. Hodge paid the Georgetown tennis coach $175K to get his son into Georgetown.

Hodge got his daughter into USC by falsely stating that she was the co-captain of the Japanese national soccer team. Hodge paid Singer $200K for this rug rat.

Hodge paid $325K to a college administrator at USC to get his son into USC on a false football / soccer scholarship. The administrator worked up two separate profiles for this rug rat. Its not clear whether this kid got in as a football star or a soccer star.

Hodge tried to get his third son into Loyola Marymount University on a fake basketball scholarship. Singer said it would cost $250K. LMU rejected the application because the kid had poor grades. Its not clear from the court filings whether Hodge ever paid Singer for this rug rat. Its possible Hodge did pay Singer and Singer pocketed the $250K and never paid off the basketball coach. There is no honor among thieves!

Hodge paid a lot of money to get his kids into top Catholic universities. For that kind of money he should have got at least one or two kids into Yale or Harvard. I’m sure his adopted kids from Morocco got into Yale. If Hodge paid Singer to get those kids into Yale he got ripped off.

Hodge only got sentenced to 9 months in Otisville by Judge Nathanial Gorton. The Government asked for 24 months. Larry Noodles asked for 24 years. Why does a poor drug dealer of color get 9 years while a Wall Street wizard only 9 months? Who wrote and passed and upheld these ridiculous criminal sentencing laws over the last 40 years? The President, members of Congress and members of the Judiciary, most of whom are millionaires, just like Mr. Hodge.

In sentencing Mr. Hodge, Judge Nathanial Gorton, a George Bush appointee and Ivy League graduate, was swayed by the following argument made by Hodge’s lawyer: “As the family’s former nanny explains, Doug takes great joy in his family life, lying in bed to read stories with his younger children, cheering on his older children at every big event, and actively listening to his children’s personal problems to guide them through tough situations…”

In recent court filings Hodge claimed that he has been tortured in Otisville when he was moved into quarantine in the Otisville medium because of the coronavirus, in violation of the United Nations human rights Rules against torture set forth by Nelson Mandela. The Justice Department vehemently objected to Hodge’s characterization of the Otisville quarantine as “torture.” The Government argued that although inmates are in solitary cells, there are other inmates in adjoining cells whom they can converse with, and / or yell at through the bars. If you have been incarcerated you know what it feels to be locked up in the zoo. The Government argued that inmates get three showers a week and two phone calls a week. For the remaining 165 hours of weekly down time, inmates have access to “books, papers, mail, commissary and personal items.” Otisville inmates writing from the inside have stated that commissary was suspended in quarantine. The Government also argued that inmates have access to a television that was set up by the guards. How are inmates supposed to see a television set if they are locked up in adjoining cells? Are inmates expected to squeeze their heads through the steel bars in order to watch television? Getting your head stuck between prison bars while watching television must violate the United Nations human rights regulations.

CEO Hodge filed his motion a couple of months ago when the coronavirus broke out. Some time thereafter the Government filed written objections. Judge Gorton shuffled the paperwork and is currently in the process of scheduling a Zoom hearing. The Government just filed paperwork indicating that CEO inmate Hodge is out of quarantine and back at the camp with the other inmates conducting an inmate board meeting. The current CEO and Director of the inmate Board of Directors is pot kingpin Jon Braun. Braun has just passed an inmate resolution ordering all inmates to “donate” ten percent of their commissary to the Braun gang.

Hodge has two more kids looking to apply to college. For a small fee I will guarantee to get Hodge’s kids into Gateway Community College. Moshiach Now!

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5 thoughts on “Otisville CEO Claims Torture Under Nelson Mandela UN Rules

  1. I really enjoy your blogs! You are a treasure! I laughed so much at this last one! Keep up the good work!

  2. I am not sure people need to be jailed for this. Named and shamed sure. But jail?

    BTW I heard that a big donation can help get kids into Ivy League – and in a perfectly legal way. Is that true?

    1. I read a NY Times article after this broke out that in the old days a 5 or ten million dollar donation would get your kid into the Ivies but today this is not enough, you need to donate at least 50 to 100 million.

  3. So if I read right MR Braun who stole millions is now head of prison gangs. If I read this right and this is same person then this prison and laws are a joke.

    1. Braun never stole a dime. Braun was the biggest marijuana dealer in the United States and cleared millions a week. Braun only got ten years because he cooperated with the Feds. There is no real prison gang in Otisville. Most of the inmates are geriatrics. Braun is young and violent, so he keeps the old men in line.

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