Passover Miracle At Otisville

Passover Miracle At Otisville

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Pot dealer kingpin Jon Braun is doing ten years in Otisville for running the biggest pot dealing operation in the country. Jon will be released to home confinement for a 30 day furlough. After 30 days the Bureau of Prisons will review whether he will get another 30 day furlough. First he will have to spend the next 14 days in Otisville under quarantine. How do you quarantine guys in Otisville when they are living in bunks two feet away from each other? It makes no sense. The nickname for the Bureau of Prisons (BOP) is “Backwards On Purpose.”

Michael Cohen’s lawyer reported that Cohen will be released to home confinement for the remainder of his sentence. There is nothing on Cohen’s court file on the Federal court website that says anything about Cohen serving the rest of his term at home. The BOP may have decided to send him home for the remainder of his sentence. He has about a year and a half to go.

I heard that a Russian inmate named Dima was sent to solitary confinement, ie., the SHU, two weeks ago after he had a fever. He was subsequently diagnosed with the coronavirus. Dima had a reputation for being dirty. He also had sleep apnea and was overweight, so he was high risk. He may have spread the virus in the camp and now all the other guys are getting sick.

I heard that other guys in there don’t want to go to the SHU so they didn’t report to the guards if they had a fever, although the guys were getting their temperatures taken every day. I heard guys were able to mask their temperatures somehow, probably by putting ice in their mouths. The guards have been unable to keep up with the virus. This caused the virus to spread all over the camp. Yeshiva World News is the only news outlet that reported that the 30 days will count as time served, which makes no sense. The Feds are not going to let a guy like Jon Braun, who is doing ten years, do thirty days as time served for his entire sentence. He will have to go back in sooner or later.

Michael Cohen’s attorney reported that he will be home for the remainder of his sentence. This cannot be verified by the BOP. Cohen’s attorney is getting information from Cohen, who is getting his information from Otisville. The information Cohen is getting may or may not be 100% accurate, there is no way to verify it with the BOP, ie., Backwards On Purpose. The best source of information about Otisville comes from Rabbi Moshe Margaretten. See link.

The guys are very happy in Otisville right now. At least the guys who are not sick. Freedom! Redemption! Freedom to commit crimes, or turn over a leaf and lead a law abiding life. As far as the guys who are sick, the inmates, as well as the guards, they are not very happy. At this point only Moshiach can save the world!


The opinions expressed in this blog are solely the opinions of Larry Noodles. These opinions do not necessarily reflect the opinions or views of Lawrence Dressler, Donald Trump, Anthony Fauci or Joey Buttafuoco. If you have been offended by anything that has been written in this blog, you need to file a formal complaint with Hashem.

Rav Ula once said, “if you did something evil, making you a little wicked, you should not do more evil and become very wicked, just as one who got bad breath from eating garlic should not then continue to eat garlic and make his breath worse.” Shabbos 31

Rav Abele, the famous dayan of Vilna, as a seven-year-old, was once ill and in bed. The doctor saw that his mouth was full of blisters. Turning to the boy’s parents, the doctor explained that if the tongue isn’t clean, it’s a sure sign of a malfunctioning stomach. “Is there anyone who can truly say his mouth is clean?” retorted the sick child. “Chazal tell us in the gemara Bava Basra that most people are guilty of theft and everyone of loshon hora!

“The hand of G-d lay heavy upon the he-goats, the crooks, the politicians, and the infidels, and He wrought havoc among them: He struck them with hemorrhoids.” I Samuel 5-6

“If the Kohen gadol sins, bringing guilt to the people, then he shall bring for his sin which he has committed, an unblemished young bull as a sin offering to the Lord.” Leviticus 4:3. “If your Rabbi sins and tells you to daven outside 770 waving a yellow flag during a pandemic, then you shall barbecue a rib eye steak and bring it to Larry Noodles as a sin offering.” Noodles 4:13.

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6 thoughts on “Passover Miracle At Otisville

  1. I think yeshiva world meant that the 30 days will be credited towards there time, but definitely not “time served”

    1. good point, they need better writers at the Yeshiva World, it proves that yeshivas need to teach students how to read and write

  2. If they close down the camp what would you write about besides Greerer

    1. I can finally retire and move to Florida and play shuffleboard and ma jong!

  3. This story broke early yesterday afternoon. Yet somehow your “source” (CNN) only got it to you today? Admit it, you have not had a reliable source in Otisville in years, Jew or non-Jew. The only information you get is a punchline. You were irrelevant to OTV when you were in it and are less so since you left. Stop making up fake heart attack stories and go sweep the loading dock.

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