Rabbi Inmate Greer Demands Shmura Matzah in Jail

Rabbi Inmate Greer Demands Shmura Matzah in Jail

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Convicted child rapist Rabbi Daniel “inmate” Greer recently hired the high priced law firm of Morrison & Foerster, which has 17 offices located throughout the United States, Asia and Europe, to sue the State of Connecticut in Federal court to force the State of Connecticut to provide Inmate Greer with kosher for Passover food for the upcoming Passover holiday. Inmate Greer was convicted of child rape and sentenced to 20 years suspended after 12. Rabbi Greer’s case dragged on for two years in Connecticut criminal court. Rabbi Greer’s attorney William Dow requested delay after delay. Rabbi Greer AKA the Goat, never had to appear at any of his hearings. Willie the Dow requested a delay and the Goat’s case was rescheduled for the following month.

Every month I went to court looking for the Goat but he was nowhere to be seen. At one point I was in the Clerk’s Office on the second floor when I spotted the Goat chewing his cud down the hall near the door to the State’s Attorneys office. I figured the Goat was checking in with the State’s Attorney’s Office and then going back to his barn. I was outraged! Why was the Goat getting special treatment when none of the other New Haven criminals, far less dangerous, and far less depraved than the Goat, had to personally appear in court every month? I sent letters to the State’s Attorney’s Office and the Judicial Branch demanding that the Goat be held accountable for his crimes. I also provided sample letters on this blog for victims of the Goat to express their frustration to the powers that be. A few weeks after I mailed out my letters the State of Connecticut scheduled a trial in the fall of 2019. The Goat tried to reschedule the trial for the Spring of 2020. The State’s Attorney insisted that the trial be held before the Jewish New Year’s holidays in the fall of 2019. Imagine if the Goat’s trial was rescheduled for the Spring of 2020. There would be no trial. All jury trials are currently on hold. The courts are closed! The Goat’s trial would have been delayed into the next century. Justice delayed is justice denied!

The State of Connecticut filed a response to the Goat’s request that he be provided with kosher for Passover food. The State stated that all of the 450 Jewish inmates locked up in State prisons were provided with 6 boxes of matzah, two seder plates, cans of tuna fish, some cheese, celery, a carrot, boiled eggs, a baked potato, orange juice, a banana, 3 butter “pats,” an apple, and milk. All of the food items would be placed in clam shell Styrofoam containers and then wrapped up four times with plastic wrap.

The Goat filed an angry response to the State’s claim that all Jewish inmates will be provided with an adequate kosher for Passover meal. The Goat’s attorneys argued that the State didn’t mention anything about providing four cups of grape juice. The Goat argued: “A seder also requires four
cups of wine or grape juice, but the State never address this requirement.” The Goat will have to barter with other inmates for his red wine. I’m sure there are a few inmates with homemade stills located in their cells. Or the Goat can bribe a guard. The Goat would never bribe a guard. The Goat is very cheap, except when it comes to paying his high priced Manhattan attorneys.

The Goat complained that the State didn’t mention whether the prison planned to provide the Goat with high priced shmura matzohs. Does the Goat expect the State of Connecticut to purchase 6 boxes of shmura matzoh at $25 a box? The Goat will be getting the cheap matzohs that cost $3 a box on sale at Stop & Shop. The Goat has demanded that he be provided with shmura matzoh. The Goat’s attorneys argued: “the matza required for the seder needs to be handmade shmura matza, made with flour that has been supervised from the time the wheat was harvested in the field, to ensure it never came into contact with leavened products or became leavened. The State does not confirm that handmade shmura matza will be provided.” No other matzoh is acceptable for the Goat’s high standards!

The Goat’s attorneys demanded that the State explain whether there will be any food that will come with the Goat’s two government issued seder plates. The Goat’s attorneys argued: “While the seder plate must include bitter herbs, haroses, a vegetable, an egg, and a piece of roasted meat, the State mentions only that Jewish inmates who sign up for Passover will receive two seder plates, one for each of the first two nights of Passover. They do not actually say what is provided in the seder plates or the kosher for Passover certification status of the food.”

The goat’s high priced attorneys failed to mention that the State never mentioned whether it would provide the Goat with expensive cholev Yisroel milk, cheese and butter “pats.” I would assume that the prison will provide the Goat with cheaper OU Dairy items. The Goat needs to tell his attorneys to amend their response and demand that the Goat be provided with cholev Yisroel items. I will send the Goat a bill for my unsolicited advice as the Goat’s life coach. I cannot give legal advice because my law license was suspended after the Feds busted me and sent me to Otisville prison. I can only give advice as an unlicensed life coach for farm animals. Life coaches don’t need licenses to operate. I think I am in the clear.

The Goat argued that prison chaplain Rabbi Praver, hired by the State of Connecticut to prepare the Passover menu, is not an Orthodox rabbi, and therefore not as learned as Rabbi Goat in understanding the laws of kashrut. Rabbi Goat also has far more professional experience and expertise than Rabbi Praver in the area of pedophilia, and thus more knowledge and training in raping and molesting teenage boys. The Goat’s attorneys argued: “As Rabbi Greer is indisputably an Orthodox Jew, the only opinion that matters with respect to whether the laws of kashrus are being followed for Passover is the opinion of an expert on Orthodox kosher rules. Rabbi Praver may be knowledgeable about the laws of kosher, and he may interact with many Jewish prisoners in his role as a chaplain, but his professional experience is not with Orthodox Judaism, and he is therefore not the right person to opine on the appropriateness of the State’s kosher for Passover menu.”

US District Court Judge Meyer scheduled a telephonic conference with the attorneys for the Goat and the attorneys who represent the State of Connecticut for tomorrow. Judge Meyer may rule on the Goat’s motion tomorrow, just in time for Passover. Tune in to this blog to find out what happens…

If you or your loved one is currently incarcerated and you would like kosher for Passover food this coming Passover, don’t waste your money on high priced lawyers. Don’t hire a jailhouse lawyer for a can of tuna fish. Don’t hire a useless public defender. All you need to do is cut and paste the motions that the Goat’s high priced attorneys filed, below. You can also read the Goat’s handwritten prison complaint he filed with the Department of Corrections, a “cop-out form” as it is called in Federal prison. The Goat has pretty good handwriting, considering he has to write with hooves. The Goat may have paid another inmate to write his complaint form.

“Speak to the Children of Israel, saying: You shall not eat any fat of an ox, sheep, or Goat.” Leviticus 7:23.


Yerachmiel Lopin Rapist rabbi Daniel Greer is so frum he is petitioning for shmura matzos in CT jail. This info comes from Lawrence Dessler in his blog, “Larry Noodles.

Ilana Houten The uber krum Greer shouldn’t be privy to any special kosher diet of any kind.

Yerachmiel Lopin I couldn’t agree more. I just always marvel at the chutzpah of someone who rapes children and fusses about mehadrin kosher.

Ilana Houten The man was dishonest in his business practices, treated people like garbage…I could go on all day about how un-frum he was.

Chanie KozlinerYerachmiel Lopin typical

Ilana Houten One of my sons was in his sad excuse for a yeshiva.

Ruth KayYerachmiel Lopin That makes my blood boil

Pieter Filter but but he’s making teshuva

Lisa Hope It’s too ironic to take seriously. I don’t get it. Do these soul murderers still think it matters after all they’ve done?

  • Pieter Filter He’s looking to build points for a lawsuit I guess. They have nothing else to do One thing I can tell you, he aint learning Torah.
  • Pieter Filter Larry Noodles rocks would love to hand out some time and just hear his stories “when this is over”

Lawrence Kaplan He should get what Jewish prisoners get for Pesach, No more, no less.

Stephen Hill You saw the video of shmura matza being made, right? It’s about as risky a food as one could imagine right now.

Pieter Filter which video i am extremely worried now

Martin Hollander See teshuva from Rav Soloveitchik on demanding only shmura matzot when not readily available.


The opinions expressed in this blog are solely the opinions of Larry Noodles. These opinions do not necessarily reflect the opinions or views of Lawrence Dressler, Ivanka Trump or Bernie Sanders. If you have been offended by anything that has been written in this blog, you need to file a formal complaint with Hashem. If you are an Otisville inmate and would like a naked picture of Ivanka Trump, or Michael Cohen’s wife, mailed to you please send your request on a cop-out form, in triplicate, to the Larry Noodles Quarantine Center, located at the Skull & Bones fraternity on the Yale University Campus.

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3 thoughts on “Rabbi Inmate Greer Demands Shmura Matzah in Jail

  1. Larry Noodles, you had me in gales of laughter regarding the goat and his dietary demands. The goat can eat anyrhing, pigs entrails would be good enough for the likes of him! How about some pigs in a blanket to remind him of all the children he molested! Let him out feces it’s good enough for the got goats it’s good enough for him and the ewe!

  2. Dear Mr. Noodles
    Thank you for your witty commentary on events in the life of the disgraced Mr. Greer. During those difficult times we can all use some light hearted relief.
    The mentor Rabbi Gettinger zatzal personally certified machine made shemura matzo at Manischewitz. It was not advertised or sold in supermarkets but it was real shemura matzo. I assume it is still produced and Mr. Greer would probably accept it.

  3. Rabbi Praver. Buy him two pounds of Matza dhmurs, and save out State thousands of dollars in litigation costs. This is a two sided power struggle. Just get the matzos and be done

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