Recent Goat Sightings

Recent Goat Sightings

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This past Friday afternoon I was driving west on Whalley Avenue, and as I approached the Edge of the Hood parking lot I spotted the Goat in his gray minivan pulling out of the parking lot.  His head was leaned forward looking to see if it was safe to proceed into Whalley Avenue.  As I passed by I waved and smiled at him.  A friendly wave.  The Goat ignored me and had a very angry look on his face.  The Goat is very rude.  The Goat used to lecture my friend, who has since moved to Israel, that it is important for a Jew to greet others, even the goyim, with a friendly hello.  I was trying to live by the Goat’s teachings, but I guess the Goat does not practice what he preaches.

This past Shabbat morning my spies spotted the Goat with his head up against his window on the second floor of the Nightmare on Elm Street waiting for enough men to show up for his early morning minyan.  In the winter months the Goat starts his services at 8:30 AM, because the days are shorter, and the Goat wants to rush home to eat his lunch prepared by the Ewe before the sun goes down.  It was 9:30 AM and the Goat still did not have ten men.  These are the kinds of things that anger the Goat. The Goat must have started very late.  I spotted a number of his followers on Whalley Avenue leaving his Nightmare on Elm Street at around 1 PM.  Usually the Goat finishes around 11 AM.  I did not see any minors, but I saw some young men and a young couple dressed in the traditional New Haven Jewish gang colors, ie., black and white.  The Goat hasn’t been in Rhode Island since I reported that the Jews in his Rhode Island shul contacted me and told me that they think that the Goat is a degenerate.

My spies in Israel have informed me that the Goat’s son Dov was spotted in the Holy Land recently.  I wonder if the Goat is planning to go AWOL and find refuge in Israel after he loses his criminal trial.  Is the son of the Goat setting up a safe house for the Goat somewhere in the desert?  The Law Of Return provides all Jews with sanctuary in the Holy Land, no questions asked.  The Law of Return was enacted in order to shelter Jews fleeing religious persecution.  Unfortunately the Law of Return has been abused by many Jewish pedophiles, mostly from New York, who have used it to avoid criminal prosecution in the United States.  Israel unfortunately has earned a reputation as being a safe haven for pedophiles.  The Goat would be able to live as a free range goat in Israel, not locked up in a cage in a Connecticut prison.

The Goat will feel important in Israel hanging out with the other famous Jewish rapists, pedophiles, and molesters fleeing American justice, such as Harvey Weinstein, Roman Polanski, Louis C.K., Dustin Hoffman, James Toback, Brett Ratner, Jeffrey Tambor, Jeremy Piven, Steven Seagal, Mark Halperin, Andrew Kreisberg, John Lasseter, Murray Miller, Glenn Thrush of the New York Times, Al Franken, Michael Oreskes of NPR, Leon Wieseltier, and Bill Cosby.  Actually Bill Cosby is not a Jew, unlike Sammy Davis Jr., who converted and proudly wore a gold star of David around his neck, much to the embarrassment of the ‘real’ Jews.  Who does this shvartze think he is anyway?  In his early years doing stand up Bill Cosby pretended to be a Jew and went by the name of Seymour Rapaport.  Cosby should hire Goat attorney William Ward, who can make up another ridiculous defense for his rapist client:  It wasn’t Bill Cosby who raped all those women, it was Rapaport the Jew, who is trying to pin it on Cosby the Black man.

Some of the Jews listed above would not be considered real Jews by the Goat, as some of them are only half Jews, one quarter Jews, or their mothers are not Jewish which would not make them real Jews.  Some of them may not even be circumcised, something the Goat would want to personally check out himself.  Jews in Hollywood and the media are very liberal on the political spectrum, unlike the Goat, who is to the right of Attila the Hun.  The Goat will not have much in common with these guys other than being fellow misfits and deviants.  The Goat would have more in common with goyisha pedophiles like Roy Moore, who is right wing, or Evangelical molester minister Jim Bakker.  But Roy Moore will not be allowed to flee to Israel, because he is not a Jew.  Bakker already served jail time for rape.  Bakker could give the Goat tips on how to survive jail and the Goat could put him on the payroll as a prison consultant, as his ministry, much like the Goat’s ministry, went down in flames.

LIVE UPDATE 11/29:  Add Matt Lauer of The Today Show to the list of famous Jewish rapists, molesters and misfits.  Matt was just canned by NBC.  Matt is only half Jewish, on his father’s side, so the Goat would not count him as a Jew if they had to gather a minyan together for prayer services in prison.  Some readers believe that there is a massive conspiracy to take down prominent Jewish men by the goyim.  It very well could be a massive right wing conspiracy, the same conspiracy that took down Hillary.  Here are some interesting facts about Lauer:  Lauer was married to television producer Nancy Alspaugh from 1981–1988.  Lauer met J Crew model Annette Roque on a blind date in July 1997, and got married to her in 1998.  While pregnant with their third child, Roque filed for divorce, claiming cruel and inhumane treatment, extreme anger and hostility. Yet they later reconciled.  Sounds fishy.  Lauer recently purchased a mansion in the Hamptons from Richard Gere for $36.5 million.  Matt may have a problem making his mortgage payments now that he is out of work. Larry Noodles makes an appeal to send money to Lauer so that he can make his mortage payments, so that his model wife will not leave him.



5 thoughts on “Recent Goat Sightings

    1. I can’t keep up with all the decent Jewish men being falsely accused of sexual harassment by the goyim. Its a massive right wing conspiracy. The same people who took down Hillary.

      1. They should all plead the Baba Kamma in court. The chosen two percenters got a fifty fifty shot the judge is a tribesman. Even higher in Federal Court. lmgao

        “Where a suit arises between an Israelite and a heathen, if you can justify the former according to the laws of Israel, justify him and say: ‘This is our law;’ so also if you can justify him by the laws of the heathens, justify him and say to the other party: ‘This is your law;’ but if this cannot be done, we use subterfuges to circumvent him.”

        See, Folio 113b Baba Kamma, The “holy” Talmud

        1. I don’t think the Bava Kamma is recognized as binding precedent in United States courts, but I guess it is possible that a Jewish judge can ignore American law and rely on the Bava Kamma. If I ever get taken down, as I am high on the target list due to my fame and fortune, I will use these arguments, thank you.

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