Rabbi – Inmate Daniel Greer has declared victory today. V for victory.
Inmate Greer, who is 4 months into his 12 year jail sentence for child molestation, sued the State of Connecticut in Federal Court to force the State to provide him with shmura matzoh, four cups of grape juice, and kosher food for his Passover seders. Rabbi Goat will be conducting his Passover seders in solitary confinement in his jail cell in the basement of the Cheshire prison. The State of Connecticut objected to Inmate Greer’s motion for Passover food. The Goat’s high priced lawyers from Manhattan argued to Federal Judge Meyer that the Goat would pay for his Passover meals, which would be supplied by the Aleph Institute, a Jewish prisoner advocacy organization.
The State objected to Rabbi Greer’s request because prison policy prohibits food to come in from the outside, for security reasons. The prison doesn’t want inmates smuggling drugs or contraband in the food packages. The State argued that food coming from the outside could be contaminated with COVID19. Inmate Greer argued that the Aleph Institute would prepare the food and give it to the guards, who would feed it to the Goat. The guards could inspect the food to make sure that the Aleph Institute didn’t bake a file into the Goat’s matzoh. Greer’s attorneys argued that any concern by the State about the Goat smuggling in contraband was preposterous: “Any suggestion that the prepackaged kosher for Passover meals Rabbi Greer would receive could be unsafe or contain contraband is absurd and also beside the point since CTDOC would be free to check the food before serving it.”
The Goat’s attorneys and the attorneys for the State of Connecticut hammered out an agreement on the eve of trial, just prior to the hearing scheduled in Federal Court. The hearing would have to be conducted via teleconference, as the Federal Courts are not operating during the pandemic. Judge Meyer commended the attorneys for reaching an agreement and not having to waste the Federal Government’s limited resources in the middle of a national crisis in order to conduct hearings on the Goat’s dietary needs.
The State agreed to allow the Aleph Institute to deliver, via FEDEX, 8 hard boiled eggs, 9 packages of Meal Mart beef goulash, 9 packages of boneless chicken, 5 boxes of shmura matzo, 4 bags of macaroons, 2 Seder plates, and 4 4 packs of 6.5 oz grape juice. I’ve eaten the Meal Mart prison food in Otisville. Its nothing to write home about. Its a lower quality line of Meal Mart meals, but not as low quality as the other prison food on the commissary. The chicken and goulash aren’t so bad, but pricey for inmates, who only earn 18 cents an hour. I saved a copy of my commissary list from Otisville prison, its the same food the Goat will be getting, see below:
The Goat’s Passover happy meal will be delivered to prison chaplain Rev. Dr. Charles F. Williams. Reverend Williams will deliver the happy meal to the prison guards, who will proceed to spit on boxes containing the Goat’s food, and then pass it to the Goat through the bars of his cage. The Goat usually only gets 20 minutes to eat his food. The guards may give the Goat extra time to conduct his seder. Rabbi Goat will not have a minyan. Nor will Rabbi Goat have any children to rape after the seders.
The State even agreed to provide the Goat with a brand new microwave oven that he can use to cook his Meal Mart beef goulash and chicken. The State indicated to Judge Meyer that prison chaplain Rabbis Ostrozynski and Praver would make sure that all of the Goat’s meals would be pre-packaged and only the Goat would open the packages and only the Goat would place them in the microwave. The goyim who run the prison kitchen would not have any role in the preparation of the Goat’s food, thus assuring that the Goat’s food would be kosher for Passover.
The Goat’s Passover needs will be satisfied, but what about the Goat’s wife, Sarah Greer, aka the Ewe? Has the Ewe quarantined herself in the Goat barn, ie., the Greer garage where the Goat keeps his chickens, ducks, and goats? Will any of the Ewe’s daughters spend Passover with the Ewe in New Haven? The Ewe’s three daughters, who left the compound many years ago, never to return, rarely speak with the Ewe. The Ewe’s 2 sons rarely speak with her, if at all, after Mirlis filed his lawsuit against the Goat, and they both moved out of New Haven.
The fact that the Ewe chose to support her 79 year old pedophile husband, who will be sitting in jail for the next 12 years, at the expense of her own children and grandchildren, says a lot about her. She can’t even see her beloved Goat now, as the prison won’t allow visitors during the pandemic. The Ewe can’t see her beloved Goat, nor can she see her children or grandchildren, whom she obviously doesn’t love. She cut off ties with her siblings and other relatives over 30 years ago when she married the Goat. They were not good enough for the Goat. The Goat also cut off all ties with his family over 30 years ago, ie., the Goldberg family, in order to form his cult in New Haven. I guess the Ewe can always talk to her animals living in her garage.
If you or your baby mama is currently incarcerated in the Big House and you need kosher for Passover food, don’t waste your money on high priced lawyers, or unlicensed jailhouse lawyers. Don’t hire a useless public defender. All you need to do is cut and paste the motions that the Goat filed.
“Speak to the Children of Israel, saying: You shall not eat any fat of an ox, sheep, or Goat.” Leviticus 7:23.