One of my newly deputized reporters for the Larry Noodles blog, and former student of the Goat, was driving in the compound a day after Yom Kippur and spotted Rabbi Daniel Greer, AKA the Goat, walking along Elm Street. This former student asked the Goat if he had repented on Yom Kippur for all the sins he had committed over the last 30 years.
The Goat responded to my reporter’s question with goat grunts and angry goat faces. I hired a goat from the Isabella Freedman Jewish retreat center located in Falls Village, Connecticut to translate the Goat’s grunts into English. The translator goat I hired lived in a kibbutz in Israel for a number of years. This goat was familiar with goats who grunted in Hebrew as well as goats who grunted in Yiddish.
My translator goat listened to my Youtube video and prepared a transcript of my reporter’s interview with the Goat. The following is a transcript of my reporter’s interview with the Goat:
Reporter: “Do you think Gd forgave you for your sins this Yom Kippur?”
Reporter: “You must have had to do a lot of repenting, huh?”
Goat: “I repented to Hashem for all my sins this Yom Kippur. After I repented I forgave Myself for raping Avi Hack and Eli Mirlis. I also forgave Myself for French kissing my student Rafi in Edgewood Park. I also forgave Myself for molesting my own children. I molested many others over the last 40 years. I cannot remember who My victims were because My brain is rotted out from many years of alcohol abuse. I forgave Myself for the victims I can’t remember. I also forgave Myself for trying to get Larry Noodles kicked out of Federal court during My child rape trial. Any further questions?”