Every criminal mastermind needs a nickname. When I was locked up in Otisville Federal prison camp the inmates voted and named me Larry Lokshen (Yiddish), or Larry Noodles (English). I decided to conduct a similar vote in the privacy of my kitchen for Nicolo. The winning nickname is “Nicolo Gorgeous,” after mobster “Vinny Gorgeous” the former boss of the Bonnano crime family, who was known for his beauty salon in the Bronx and his striking good looks.

Italian born Persian prince Nicolo Nourafchan, whom I partied with at Yale many years ago was also drop dead gorgeous. I identify as a normal heterosexual male and have never found myself attracted to men but I must admit Nicolo had a certain magnetism. He was smart, good looking, and down to earth. Jewish men aren’t particularly known for their good looks, just look at the pictures of the two Jewish doctors, above, next to Nicolo. But the few Jewish men who are good looking really excel in their field, such as Paul Newman, Nicolo, and ummm, I don’t know, there must be other really good looking Jewish guys out there, I’m asking the audience for help. Adam Sandler? Bob Dylan?

I met Nicolo just before I got indicted in 2013 for my involvement in a mortgage fraud scheme as a closing attorney in which my profit was roughly $4000.00. I got indicted under the Obama Administration, so I am hopeful that I will be entitled to some form of remuneration from the newly created $1.8 billion fund Trump set up to compensate individuals like myself who were subjected to the “weaponized” Obama Justice Department, which indicted low level losers rather than high powered Wall Street bankers and lawyers who lined the streets with mortgage gold backed by riskey bundled collateralized securities. Back then they were part of the Ivy League class of “untouchables” and nobody in the Federal government ever thought to indict these elite members of wealth and power. This is probably why Nicolo and his buddies thought they could brazenly engage in insider trading for almost twenty years, since 2014, ironically the same year I went to Otisville Federal prison. The gig is up. Trump is in power now and has declared war on the pampered Ivy League Pablum Pukers and their day care institutions. Go Trump! If you are reading this Mr. Trump, I want you to know that I have always defended you against the progressives like Paul Bass who don’t like you. Also, Mr. Trump, can you please tell me where I should go to pick up my money from the $1.8 billion fund? Should I go to the Department of Treasury? Do you have the address? Is it near the White House? I would like to stop by and thank you for my money.

For the last two years Nicolo Nourafchan has been getting rolled over by his former friends and partners. At least eight co-conspirators have agreed to cooperate with the Department of Justice in their pursuit of the Nourafchan brothers, Nicolo and his brother Lorenzo. One “unnamed co-conspirator” is a “Russian national” who is beyond the jurisdiction of the Department of Justice, but is still mentioned in the indictment.

Four of Nicolo’s snitches were indicted back in 2024 and quickly reached plea agreements with the government: former Willkie Farr & Gallagher lawyer Gabriel Gershowitz, David Bratslavsky, Fernando Grinberg and a podiatrist from Teaneck, NJ named Seth Winslow. The Feds have already agreed to let Gershowitz sit for 2 years in Otisville and forfeit $37K; Bratslavsky will sit for 18 months in Otisville and forfeit $280K; Grinberg and Winslow get no jail time but will have to cough up $86K and $21K respectively. Their sentencing dates will be delayed until after Nicolo and all his top associates either take pleas or go to trial. How does high powered Willkie Farr M & A attorney Gershowitz get involved with a lowly podiatrist named Seth from Teaneck? The trial should reveal more facts and details. Stay tuned.

Nicolo used a middleman, a childhood friend and college buddy, one Gavryel Silverstein, to feed insider tips to investors and traders, who happened to be Silverstein’s in-laws, ie., Brian, Mark and Dr. Simon Fensterszaub. These in-laws, or more appropriately “outlaws” profited from the trades, and gave kickbacks to Silverstein, who then kicked the kickbacks to Nicolo. At one point Niciolo got mad at Silverstein for not kicking him back the kickbacks fast enough. According to the indictment, Nicolo messaged Silverstein: “Call me bro, You can run but you can’t hide motherfucker.” Silverstein responded: “Haha. Give me 20,” to which Nourafchan replied: “to life.” Silverstein then responded: “I hope not.” Then Nourafchan said: “Bro I’m trying to reach you for days. Call me.” After a series of additional exchanges, including with a third party who was to receive the funds due to Nourafchan, Silverstein sent a screenshot of a money transfer to Nicolo. Is it possible that Nicolo hired a gang member to threaten Silverstein with physical violence? Its not clear from the indictment. It seems that Nicolo and Silverstein had a bad feeling about their criminal activity, and possible regret. Its too late now. They can’t go back in time. The kosher chickens have come home to roost.

At one point Dr. Simon Fensterszaub, a doctor of osteopathic medicine, of Hollywood, Florida, said he got “screwed” by a member of the “public” who leaked the insider information before he had a chance to trade on it: “It’s, well, the deal’s not off, but we missed it. Apparently, that’s what stopped them from getting to the closing table. Um, information leaked to the public, so now everybody knows about it, so the price already went up, so there’s nothing to talk about, unfortunately, we got screwed by someone leaking information. But all good, we’ll wait for the next one.”

At another point Dr. Simon Fensterszaub complained to Silverstein that the fact that Nicolo was “out of the country” was no reason for Nicolo to delay feeding Silverstein insider tips which were then passed on to Simon: “He could still give the info from wherever he is on the planet, Let’s goooooo! I just don’t understand why it matters that he’s out of the country. He forgot the information when he landed? … F*ck!!! We need something quick…”

Dr. Simon Fensterszaub has pleaded not guilty to all charges and is presumed innocent until proven guilty by a jury of his peers. But Dr. Fensterszaub has been proven guilty of greed and stupidity by the Court of Larry Noodles.

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